Alhamdulillah... I'm two today.
It's the second anniversary of the day I recited the 2-khalimah syahadah and recognised officially as a Muslim.
What an interesting time I have had from the moment I recited the syahadah until today, and I'm so thankful fo all the blessings Allah Subhanallah Wa'Taala has given me during the tough times in these two years.
Almost all reverts will remember the day they recited the syahadah, or at least the occasion and the feeling after reciting it. Born Muslims might wonder about the fuss, or as we recall the event with fond memories. But then I suppose as born Muslims, they don't actually remember the exact day they recited the 2-khalimah syahadah consciously and with all seriousness as we had the first time, openly declaring our belief only in Allah SWT and proclaiming Mohammad as the prophet. For most reverts it was a big step of courage; the one that we had mentally prepared for yet bidding for the right time and right occasion to step out of the closet; some still hesitating until the very last moment, and for a few, it was too late as they met their Creator without the chance to live as a practising Muslim.
As I prayed beside my husband this evening, my tears started to fall. I couldn't help it. My husband looked at me oddly but he didn't ask why. I had remembered all the difficulties I had in the beginning of learning to perform the solat two years ago; how I had to ask my close Malay friends to help me to buy a sejadah and kain telekung when they left for shopping at the mall ( I couldn't join them because the car was already full) because I wasn't supplied with any after my conversion to Islam. I knew how hard it was to learn to recite the prayer properly, wondering whether my pronunciations were correct but dared not approach the busy undergraduate sisters at hostels for help.
Now two years had passed.
Am I a better Muslim now?
Maybe. Only He knows. Frankly, I still feel what I have now is inadequate.
I still need to learn more about Islam and to live the best way as a Muslimah. I want to do more for Islam. I hope to help as many people as I can in any way I can, insya Allah.
With One, I could make excuses that I was still a freshie, and a new learner.
With Two, I have made a lot of progress, Alhamdulillah... but I don't consider myself good yet for a 'Two-year-old".
The world wide web has always been a great help even during my months of searching before I officially reverted to Islam. I am thankful for all the help, advices, prayers and friendships offered throught the internet. It would have been possible without His help and guidance, and we would not have met here online if not for His permission.
Through this blog, I hope that I have managed to reach out to as many Muslims, non-Muslims and yet-to-be Muslims as possible and help them in any way possible. I hope I have left some good "traces" in your life as others have left their own good "traces" in my life.
First year as a Muslimah has been educational, memorable and inspiring. Syukur Alhamdulillah.
Second year is here. I trust Him to guide and lead me as He has always done. Allah akbar.
I'm looking forward to third year, insya Allah...