COPING ON MY OWN

It's been three days since I stopped taking my medication. There's no more in my stock and I can't go to the HSAH which is about 50 minutes away. So it's back to square one - coping with my mental power.

Well, it hasn't been easy. I'm just doing my best. Alhamdulillah the wound is healing well although it still hurts when I bend too much or sit too long. I'm walking a little faster now. I can sleep on my side now, which really helps to ease the backache I've been suffering from since I returned from the hospital.

Doing the ablution was a challenge as I had some difficulty bending forward to clean my feet. Performing the solat is a real challenge. I cannot bend forward too much as the wound is horizontally below the navel. So I have to do it in a sitting position. Memang tak puas. I don't feel contented doing so but what choice do I have? It's either that way or not at all. And I'm not one who excuse myself from solat just because of a slight discomfort.

I'm patiently waiting for the return of my husband from overseas. It's been very difficult to contact him as he's on the move. As Allah swt has decided that I'm to survive my first two weeks of post-surgery without him around, I'm doing my best here. Last year when he left for his haj, I was alone too but it wasnt' that bad. I could still move around and was healthy. This time around it's different. It's very tryingas I've nobody else to confide in or to ask for assistance. Hard to find people who really understand anyway.

My widow sis-in-law is a real help but she's a village woman with traditional views. She cooks and cleans the house that my in-laws have entrusted her with during their absence. We get along just fine but I'm not a Malay. Malays can eat a plateful of white rice and a fried fish, and consider it a meal. I don't know how to explain to her that I need my daily supply of greens, and that I only need a small bowl of rice for a meal. To ask for greens would mean that she has to cook another dish, so I've been quiet all this while. I know I should be thankful for my daily meals. I am thankful. It's just that I miss my greens, huhuhu.

I miss driving too. The car is here with me. I tried to drive but I suffered pains. The rather bumpy ride from my house to my in-laws' with husband on the wheel last week, had me doing deep breathing and pressing down on my wound( to ease the pain). I'm confident I can manage the steering wheel and the pedals now but the thought of potholes (ouch!) and the car's movement on the rather bumpy road stopped me from continuing my quest to drive this week.

Alhamdulillah my burden is not as heavy as hers

Reading the al-Quran translations help to calm me down and alleviate the pain.
Surfing the internet and visiting blogs help to ease the boredom.
I'm also trying to complete my book.
Friends call and ask about my condition. Thanks. Alhamdulillah I believe that I'm recovering well.
The house in Tasek Gelugor, Kepala Batas is quite far from the main cities, so I'm not expecting any visitors. Thank God for my Celcom broadband! I have the world at my touch, hahaha.
I pray that it'd be better when my in-laws and husband return from their travels. I really hope so.

Have a nice day. everyone!