QUE SERA SERA

"You're dehydrated," said the Doc.
"But I've been drinking water, juices, and err... coffee?" I shrugged. I shouldn't say coffee but what the heck, I'm a coffee addict. To be safe, I only drink Radix coffee nowadays, as I'm told that the caffeine level is not as high as the other types of coffee. So far so good. Alhamdulillah.
"Yes, but you need to drink more to replace your loss of blood. And to avoid feeling giddy, get up slowly from the chair. Don't push yourself too hard. Rest more. I'll give you extra vitamins as you are still anaemic."
"But I've lots of things to do this week. I'm going for the surgery next week. I don't understand why it's still continuing after more than a month despite taking these prescribed medicine."
"Be thankful that they help to reduce it. There's nothing left to do except going for your surgery. You're losing a cup of it a day, so naturally you'd feel tired. Your BP is normal."
"Ok. At least now I know why I'm so tired. Dehydration and less blood, huh?"

Visiting the Doc has been a regular "outing" of mine since the diagnosis. I know the routine very well now. Go to the government clinic at 1.30pm, take your number and return at 2.00pm sharp. That'd ensure that you'd get to leave by 2.40pm.
Private Muslim clinics need a different approach. Either visit early in the morning or just after 8.00pm. There'd be less patients at the waiting room. And if there're any available, I choose lady doctors.

Health's been going up and down like a yoyo since Ramadhan. One week I'd be as strong as a horse, another week tired and lethargic. This wek it's been going downhill. Getting up in the morning has not been easy. I'm leaving everything to Allah swt.

In a way having this 'thing' has affected my work as an educator, and the number of medical leave I had to take is nothing to be proud of. Syukur my boss has been very understanding and supportive. I'm glad that the students have been cooperative. I've been honest with them; informing that I'd be spending some time at the hospital next month, and that I won't be around during their final exam. Naturally they've asked but I decided not to tell them about my sickness. They should be happy that they have me around for an extra three weeks, due to the postponement of the surgery.

I don't know what tomorrow holds for me. But I'm ready to face it.
Taking medication has been so regular hat I'm quite tired of it, but I've no choice. Skip a dose and I'd be in a worse condition within a few hours. Alhamdulillah I'm a civil servant, which allows me to take medication for free. The last time I bought two types of pills at the pharmacy ( was too tired to wait at the crowded clinic), I had to pay RM67 for a 2-week dosage. Ouch!

I can't wait to be well again. Being this sick has made me learn to rely a lot on Allah swt. To accept the things I cannot change and to do my best in those things that I can improve in. To be thankful that it's just a common sickness and is not life-threatening (hope not). To be more patient. To be more independent and manage my emotions better. To be a better planner. To be a better Muslim, a better friend, a better wife and a better daughter. I even know which are the better brands of sanitary pads available in the shops, due to my own experiences, hahahaa.
In short, I've learnt a lot just by being sick since June.

Going for surgery is not my favourite way of spending my coming weekend but if that's what it's supposed to be, so be it.
I've been busy clearing my things, making notes, typing and printing documents as tomorrow is to be my last day at school for this school term. I' guess I'd be the first to go for a long school holiday, hehehe.

I'm just praying hard that Allah swt will allow the surgery to be successful and that I'd be back on my feet soon. I'm also praying that my surgeon has recovered from his own health problem and will be able to perform it. I'm also hoping that it won't be postponed again. Wallahu'alam.

Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be.. the future's not ours to see, que sera sera.. what will be, will be...que sera sera...