I was teaching Literature to my Form 4 Science last Wednesday. "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.
We discussed the type of choices that we have to make during the course of our lives, and the students faces reflected the realisation that in almost every minute, they are actually making choices, choosing between two or more roads as each diverge into another two roads. Life is a continuous form of choices. Making a wrong turn might cause a lot of unnecessary misery. Each of us is a traveller in the journey of life.
And when I checked their notebooks, some have written the title of the poem as "The Road Taken."
When I pointed out the error, they said,"Oh Teacher, we thought it's about the road taken by the traveller that has made him who he is today. If he had taken the safer road chosen by most people, he won't be writing this poem, would he? He'd end up like most common people."
Ah, young people and their ideas.. that's why I love this job.
Coping with sickness can be tough. One is helpless as the body reacts to the pain. The patient can shift from shock to anger, hurt, depression, sadness, before finally acceptance.
I've watched my Mum cope when she was first diagnosed as SLE sufferer. She couldn't hold anything with her fingers in the morning, not even a plastic mug. Boy, was she depressed. We were worried that she'd do something bad to herself, but fortunately she managed to fight back, with support from family and friends. And today she's still able to life an almost normal life.
Unlike a cut or an open sore, I can't see what's wrong with my body. I can't apply direct medication on the wound. So it's frightening when I'm continuously losing blood through heavy menses. Taking the drugs supplied by the hospital helps to reduce the flow and reduce the pain. Yet it's not advisable to take them for long period of time, ie 6 weeks before my rescheduled surgery. With every flow of blood, that 'thing' might increase in size. It feeds on the high estrogen level available during menses. My last scan last month had shown an almost 40% reduction in the size of the fibroid (no menses for 2 months meant no estrogen), so it's kinda frustrating to think that there could be an increment in its size again.
I might not be able to do much in the sense of treating the sickness. I'd just have to trust the good doctor and hope that he'd be able to perform the surgery in November. Doctors are humans, and they might have their own problems. I'll be praying for him too.
I'm gonna use the extra 1 month period to do the best I can in everything. Allah SWT had decided to postpone the surgery for reasons only He knows. As a servant of Allah, I will trust His wisdom. No need to question His choice, No need to wallow in self-pity, No need to stress myself finding alternative treatment. It's time for self-reflection. It's time to move on. Thanks for your support and prayer, friends and readers of this blog. Really appreciate it.
Today it's me. Tomorrow it could be someone else. Life is so unpredictable. So is one's health and fortune. A test is a test. It's a only test. The best score is the one we receive in Heaven.
Alhamdulillah for His grace and deliverance. There's a few more days in Ramadhan. Last night was peaceful and serene. I prayed again, seeking His forgiveness for all sins I have committed throughout my life.
Nobody knows whether we'd be able to see the next Ramadhan. I'm ready to meet Him if He wills it.
But I'm also hoping Allah SWT will allow me more time and good health to continue my travels along my own chosen road, the one less travelled by in this temporary world... there're still many flowers to see, so many seeds to sow, so many undergrowth to clear..