"Sorry, but I suggest we discuss some other time," I ended the call as gently as I could.
I could have said something different. I could have said something they had wanted to hear but no, I won't be pushed into that corner.
I wouldn't catch the ball they threw at me.
Life is full of balls, some being hurled at other people, sometimes with good intention, but most often, thrown with ill intention. The angry words, the insults, the accusations that they hurl at us sometimes could make our blood boil and make us want to hurl the angry words back at them. But at what cost? Will our reactive action solve the problem? I don't think so!
That's why nowadays I am very reluctant to catch the balls they hurl at me. Sangat-sangat malas. I have the choice actually, and so do all of us. We can choose to catch the balls, accept the insults and in our reactive mood, throw back the balls. And the game will continue, with the ball being thrown back and forth between two or more persons. OR we can choose to ignore the balls, let the balls drop without us catching and sooner or later, the thrower will tire out. We will be spared from spoiling our own deen when we choose not to reply to the busybodies' enquiries (whose aim is just to make us squirm uncomfortably), not to entertain those who throw us insults (whose aim is to make us angry and sad), and not to add more sins by replying with bad words and behaviour (and allow syaitan to rejoice).
If I believe that the balls are not worth receiving, I will not catch them. Sorry to disappoint, but I just won't. I'd let the balls bounce back untouched. I will not form any ill thoughts about those who hurl them at me, for that'd just be a waste of time and energy. I choose not to form ill thought (prasangka , buruk sangka) about those throwers. Let Allah swt, All Knowing be the judge of our thoughts and actions.
I choose not to be reactive to those around me. I have the choice to be sad with the actions of others or to be patient and forgiving. I have the choice to treat somebody as enemies or to treat them as friends. I have the choice to shun the public or to face them boldly and courageously. I am the master of my own fate. And I choose the Islamic way of life, to treat my heart to obey Rasulullah's teachings, for nothing else matters compared to Allah's pleasure.
Do you know that life is made for living, not for surviving? Life is God-given to be used to help others, not to find fault with others. Life is too short to remain angry and bitter at others for long. Life is too precious to be wasted on by being reactive to other people's talk and actions, and to keep a record of wrongs others did to us, and to plan for revenge. No, in reality, Life is beautiful and full of hope, if only we choose to see it that way.
Oh, some of you might think that I'm being a goody-two-shoes. How could anyone be so optimistic about life? Cakap macam tak pernah buat silap. Tau sedikit dah berani menasihati orang lain. Think whatever you like, I won't catch your balls. The balls won't hurt me the way you want them to. Also, I won't hurl them back to you. However if you yourself are hurt by the bounced-back balls, remember that they're your own doing, not mine.
Oh well, I'm not perfect. I'm still learning and practising. Allah swt alone knows all my weaknesses and my faults. I do know one thing though. I seek His pleasure,and aim to be a good Muslimah (wife, mother, daughter, worker, friend, etc). Only Allah swt's pleasure matters the most. Everything else are less significant.