Monday, March 23


"Sorry, but I suggest we discuss some other time," I ended the call as gently as I could.
I could have said something different. I could have said something they had wanted to hear but no, I won't be pushed into that corner.
I wouldn't catch the ball they threw at me.
Not anymore.

Life is full of balls, some being hurled at other people, sometimes with good intention, but most often, thrown with ill intention. The angry words, the insults, the accusations that they hurl at us sometimes could make our blood boil and make us want to hurl the angry words back at them. But at what cost? Will our reactive action solve the problem? I don't think so!

That's why nowadays I am very reluctant to catch the balls they hurl at me. Sangat-sangat malas. I have the choice actually, and so do all of us. We can choose to catch the balls, accept the insults and in our reactive mood, throw back the balls. And the game will continue, with the ball being thrown back and forth between two or more persons. OR we can choose to ignore the balls, let the balls drop without us catching and sooner or later, the thrower will tire out. We will be spared from spoiling our own deen when we choose not to reply to the busybodies' enquiries (whose aim is just to make us squirm uncomfortably), not to entertain those who throw us insults (whose aim is to make us angry and sad), and not to add more sins by replying with bad words and behaviour (and allow syaitan to rejoice).

If I believe that the balls are not worth receiving, I will not catch them. Sorry to disappoint, but I just won't. I'd let the balls bounce back untouched. I will not form any ill thoughts about those who hurl them at me, for that'd just be a waste of time and energy. I choose not to form ill thought (prasangka , buruk sangka) about those throwers. Let Allah swt, All Knowing be the judge of our thoughts and actions.

I choose not to be reactive to those around me. I have the choice to be sad with the actions of others or to be patient and forgiving. I have the choice to treat somebody as enemies or to treat them as friends. I have the choice to shun the public or to face them boldly and courageously. I am the master of my own fate. And I choose the Islamic way of life, to treat my heart to obey Rasulullah's teachings, for nothing else matters compared to Allah's pleasure.

Do you know that life is made for living, not for surviving? Life is God-given to be used to help others, not to find fault with others. Life is too short to remain angry and bitter at others for long. Life is too precious to be wasted on by being reactive to other people's talk and actions, and to keep a record of wrongs others did to us, and to plan for revenge. No, in reality, Life is beautiful and full of hope, if only we choose to see it that way.

Oh, some of you might think that I'm being a goody-two-shoes. How could anyone be so optimistic about life? Cakap macam tak pernah buat silap. Tau sedikit dah berani menasihati orang lain. Think whatever you like, I won't catch your balls. The balls won't hurt me the way you want them to. Also, I won't hurl them back to you. However if you yourself are hurt by the bounced-back balls, remember that they're your own doing, not mine.

Oh well, I'm not perfect. I'm still learning and practising. Allah swt alone knows all my weaknesses and my faults. I do know one thing though. I seek His pleasure,and aim to be a good Muslimah (wife, mother, daughter, worker, friend, etc). Only Allah swt's pleasure matters the most. Everything else are less significant.



  1. Assalamualaikum sister,

    I just wrote this on my blog. I understand your feelings.
    I once feel that way when I try to reach out and share my view on Islam to some people. Then I learn this hadith. I also heard the same thing from Hussein Yee's talk lately.

    One of the hadith by Tirmidhi, Al-Qadaai and Ibn 'Asaakir:-

    The prophet said:
    "Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah at the risk of displeasing the people, Allah will take care of him and protect him from them. But whoever seeks the pleasure of the people at the risk of angering Allah. Allah will abandon him to the care of the people."
    (Isnad = hasan)

    I guess we cant really please human to 100%. I always think its wiser to please Allah as we will be protected by Allah and Allah will take care of us. InsyaAllah.



  2. Assalamualaikum

    its not easy when we walking in the guided path. Allah will surely will test our Iman. you handle that situation very well. there's time better for us to remain silent and not reacting to their antics, me myself have been caught in that situation many times so i somehow know what you've been through.


  3. There was a friend who, well, had been continuously asking me to come with her to the cinema, to watch movies...

    when i was younger, kak aliya, i used to go there with another friend, several times. and then i realized that i was always uncomfy in that dark room, because i saw couples sitting together..and doing stuff that they are not supposed to do..i felt bad since i was a coward, tak berani tegur those behaviours even tho i was older than them skool kids. so i decided to not be in a place where i'd have to bear with such uncomfy feelings..and i stopped going to the movies.

    back to the friend i first mentioned, she was kind of..disappointed, or angry with me..because i'd never told her why i wouldnt wanna go, so one day when i did..she made a face, a deeply hurt face and took my explanation as a form of judgement, like i had judged her for going to the movies.

    i said sorry, kak aliya. it never crossed my mind, to judge anybody. she requested a reason, and i gave my honest one, because she's my friend.

    but we were distant after that.

    was it selfish then, to hurt someone (tho accidentally), for my own stand?

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  5. Assalamualaikum

    many malaysian rejoicing when march is coming. many says we have achieved this or that. we had won election (really?), we have demo against our elected govt, etc. is that really important. don't get me wrong, i really hate this govt.

    but the fact is we should remember march with very sombre note. everything we had achieved is pale compared with what has befallen upon us long time ago. how many amog us Muslims realized is was in march THE ABOLISHMENT OF UTHMANIYYAH CALIPHATE was taken place. it was on 4th march 1924. from that date till now, we still reeling the effect of the event.

    for me, that is how i remember march.

    ~ One Caliph One Daulah ~


  6. salam kak aliya, a blogger friend of mine, mr faisal suggested that his first comment on my PPSMI post can be considered a response to yours. he posted another comment, since yours caught his attention. if you have time, go see. thanks!

  7. Waalaikumussalam ahong, azlan,laterajiwa,
    Yes, it's wiser to please Allah swt. By doing that actually, we are pleasing all good Muslims :)
    Oh, I ever say it's easy. Words are so simple to say but have so big effect if spoken in the wrong way!
    Nani, some people just can't take "No" for an answer. And i do find that people generally have yet to learn to agree to disagree :)
    Ini bukan tempat menjual t-shirt! huhuhu..saya tak bertanghgungjawab kalau t-shirt yang ditempah itu dirampas, nohh.

  8. Waalaikumussalam Nani,
    yes, I've read his too. And I stand by my POV, hehehe. O do tell me,is anyone here a product of PPSMI, from a very rural school and score A1 in SPM both Science and Maths without attending tuition classes?

  9. salam balik, no prob, kak aliya. its awesome having read your stand. (i adore you, kak.) im learning from all the comments i received, teachers like you and tombakgoyang. opens my view to a whole new perspective in teaching. thanks kak.

    oh yeah, i'll ask around my family (some of them live in rural areas) if anyone of their kids got A1s for science and maths.

    man, this is like a research.

  10. Excellent post. Tq very much this entry. It echoed my thought and personal journey recently as well. May Allah bless you always, insya-Allah.

  11. Naziehah, alhamdulillah, glad to be of help. Thanks for the doa,ameen.