TALKING ABOUT DEATH

"Dear, can I ask you something personal?"
"Sure... what is it?"
"Well... I've been thinking.If I were to die tomorrow, where will I be buried?"

The conversation took place in the car one night. Being busy folks as we are, some of our most serious talks were held in the confines of the car as we rushed from one place to another.

My husband took his time.
"Well, dear... do you have any friend close to you whom you are sure will visit your grave?"
" A few but then they might move away too."
"Then you can have your final resting place in my hometown. After all, you are my wife."
Alhamdulillah, one nagging question has finally been answered.

"Erm, dear.. another thing. What if my time has come when you are still performing your haj? Who will settle my funeral?"
"Don't worry. I've made arrangements with my family to take care of you in case of any unforeseen circumstances. They'll do everything and when I return, I'll visit your grave. InsyaAllah I'll pray at your grave every year. Are you ok with that?"
"Fine," I smiled at my husband.
"Don't worry, we just do our best and leave the rest to Allah. Nobody knows when 'ajal' will come, " he assured me.
"I know but I just want to be prepared, that's all."
"It's good to prepare and make arrangements, dear. I understand what you're implying. And if something were to happen to me during my haj too, I'd prefer to be taken home and buried in my hometown too. That is, if it can be arranged, because I'd like my family to visit my grave too."


photo image: artmelayu.blogspot.com

Death is inevitable. And death is a sensitive issue. All new Muslim reverts will worry about where they will be buried when they die. I used to, because logically I can no longer be buried in a Chinese graveyard with the Tao-Buddhist rites. I do not have any adopted family who consider me a member of their family, hence no sense of belonging or kampung to go to for Muslim festivities. Nor do I want to be buried at an obscure site where nobody will bother to visit. Also, I worry about how my still-Buddhist family members will react if my corpse is handled by strangers from the religious department.

Allah swt has been kind and merciful. I wasn't planning to remarry so soon but then everything is under His will. Naturally, having a good, responsible Muslim husband solves the problem.