THE DRIVER

He pressed the brake .

Too late.

It hit the car in the parking space.

There's no witness.

He changed gear and drove away.

He laughed.

He has escaped once again.

There's nobody who will accuse him of damaging the car. He's being smart.

He saves money by running away from the scene of the accident.

He was so happy that he forgot to stop at the junction.

He barely had time to see the incoming lorry.

It hit him.

There's no witness, and the lorry driver didn't stop.

By the time they found him he was no longer breathing.

CIKGU OH CIKGU

"Pagi-pagi dah jadi belatuk," usik cikgu Mat yang melihat saya menggunakan mesin taip untuk membuat kertas soalan tambahan kepada pelajar.
"Kenapa nak susah-susah, ajar teruk-teruk pun bukan semua akan pandai," komen salah seorang daripada warga sekolah.
" Ya betul juga kata awak tu," balas kawannya sambil tersengih-sengih. "Work smart, not work hard. Kerja dengan bijak, bukan dengan rajin."
Saya tarik nafas panjang."Bukankah tugas kita ni menyampaikan ilmu? Saya tak nak disoal di akhirat nanti kenapa tak buat kerja betul-betul. Biarlah susah sekarang asalkan kita puas hati dengan ilmu yang kita sampaikan. Kalau tak buat dengan baik, nak jawab apa di akhirat nanti."
Cikgu-cikgu lain ketawa.
"Aiikk, nyonya pun percaya pada akhiratkah?"
" Sudah tentulah," saya menjawab sambil tersenyum.

Sebagai seorang cikgu, saya tahu saya mempunyai tanggungjawab berat mendidik anak murid. Mengajar Bahasa Inggeris sebagai bahasa kedua khasnya kepada mereka yang bergantung sepenuhnya kepada pihak sekolah untuk mendapatkan ilmu bukanlah perkara yang mudah. Tambahan lagi, mengajar anak murid yang bukan daripada bangsa sendiri.
"Kenapa buat kerja banyak? Awak tu mengajar anak-anak Melayu, bukan anak Cina. Buat sikit-sikit sudahlah," saya pernah ditegur oleh nenek saya.
" Tapi Ah-Mah, saya dibayar untuk mengajar tanpa mengira siapa anak murid saya. Bagi saya, anak Cina, anak Melayu atau anak India sama sahaja. Mereka juga ada hak yang sama untuk belajar." saya cuba menerangkan kepada nenek saya.

Sebagai cikgu, hendak mendapat gaji memang mudah. Masuk kerja jam 7.30 pagi, masuk bilik darjah ikut jadual dan memberi kerja bertulis kepada pelajar sebagai bukti murid belajar. Apabila loceng berbunyi jam 1.30 petang, kita sudah dikira bekerja selama sehari. Pada akhir bulan, gaji tetap akan diterima.
"Kamu tak hendak belajar pun saya tetap diberi gaji," komen cikgu kepada pelajar yang malas.
"Walaupun murid sekelas hanya 27 orang, gaji saya tetap sama seperti mengajar murid 50 orang," komen cikgu yang lain.

Anak murid bukan bodoh. Walaupun semuda 7 tahun, mereka sudah pandai menilai guru-guru mereka; cikgu yang rajin, cikgu yang malas, cikgu yang cantik, cikgu yang baik, atau cikgu yang garang. Kalau mereka suka kepada seseorang cikgu, mereka akan menunggu di depan pintu bilik darjah, malah ada yang akan menjemput cikgu yang disayangi di bilik guru apabila tiba giliran beliau masuk mengajar.
" Teacher, kenapa tak datang ke sekolah semalam? Teacher sakit ya?" begitulah prihatinnya seorang anak murid terhadap gurunya.
Kalau cikgu yang garang atau yang malas tidak masuk mengajar, mereka berpesta sesama sendiri.
"Teacher, Cikgu Samad tak datang ya? Dia kursus berapa hari?" tanya ketua darjah yang tersenyum riang.

Sebenarnya ada murid yang menjadi kurang ajar dan kurang diajar di sekolah kerana cikgu kurang mengajar. Hanya kesedaran bahawa kerja juga adalah satu bentuk jihad dan keikhlasan dalam bekerja yang dapat membantu guru untuk sentiasa memberikan yang terbaik kepada anak didiknya.

Sebenarnya, kejujuran dan keikhlasan seorang guru mengajar dan menyampaikan ilmu hanya boleh dinilai oleh anak muridnya sendiri di samping Allah yang Maha Mengetahui. Kesan hasil pengajaran seorang guru bukan untuk sehari tetapi untuk seumur hidup pelajar berkenaan. Kalau guru silap mengajar murid akan belajar perkara yang salah. Kalau cikgu bersikap tidak adil terhadap pelajarnya, pelajar akan belajar memberontak dan membenci subjek yang diajar oleh guru tersebut. Kalau cikgu tidak mengajar langsung tetapi menerima gaji buta, cikgu sudah membunuh minat pelajar terhadap pelajaran dan menjejaskan masa depannya. Tanggungjawab guru amat berat tetapi pahalanya cukup besar sekiranya guru bijak menggunakan segala peluang yang ada untuk menyampaikan ilmu dan menjalankan dakwah.

"Teacher, ini macam mana nak jawab?"
Saya pening setiap kali diminta menjaga kelas ketika ujian Pendidikan Agama Islam.
Ketika itu, saya belum memeluk Islam tetapi berkat usaha cikgu sekolah rendah dan hidayah daripada Allah swt, saya masih boleh membaca dan menulis dalam Jawi.
" Isi tempat kosong dengan perkataan yang diberi," saya bacakan untuk mereka.
" Teacher pandai baca Jawi," bisik pelajar kepada kawannya.
"Patutnya kamu lebih pandai," saya nasihati pelajar Tahun 2."Kamu orang Melayu beragama Islam, tetapi Teacher bukan. Tetapi Teacher boleh baca dan tulis Jawi, jadi sebagai orang Melayu yang beragama Islam, kamu kenalah belajar Jawi dengan lebih rajin lagi. Jawi ini adalah warisan orang Melayu. Malulah kalau kamu orang Melayu tak pandai Jawi."
Mereka tunduk. Yang pergi sekolah agama tersenyum sesama sendiri. Entahlah. Mungkin ada juga anak murid yang mendoakan saya masuk Islam. Wallahualam.

Hadiah terbesar seseorang guru adalah melihat pelajarnya menjadi orang yang berjaya dan berguna kepada masyarakat. Guru bagaikan mendapat durian runtuh apabila ditegur dengan mesra oleh bekas pelajarnya.
"Tumpang tanya," seorang wanita bertudung litup mendekati saya di universiti.
"Ini Teacher Yeoh kah?" dia teragak-agak.
" Ya, betul." Saya sudah biasa ditegur bekas pelajar yang mengecam saya tetapi itulah kali pertama selepas saya memeluk Islam dan menutup aurat. Saya cuba mengecam mukanya tetapi tidak dapat mengingatinya daripada beratus-ratus pelajar yang pernah saya ajar. Tahun bila? Kelas apa?
"Saya Zamirah, anak murid Teacher di Batu Kurau dulu. Teacher mengajar saya Pendidikan Seni semasa saya di Tahun 4."
MasyaAllah! Itu sepuluh tahun yang lalu. Bagaimana dia boleh mengingati nama saya seterusnya mengecam saya?
"Saya ingat Teacher lagi. Saya nampak Teacher beberapa kali tetapi saya tak berani tegur, takut tersilap orang.Saya kini belajar di sini"
"Mengapa Teacher pakai tudung?" dia terus bertanya.
"Saya sudah masuk Islam," saya menjawab ringkas.
Terus saya dipeluknya erat.

MENGAPA DIRI DIUJI

"Apakah manusia itu mengira bahwa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan : "Kami telah beriman," sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya kami telah menguji orang-orang yang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui orang-orang yang benar dan sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang-orang yang dusta." (QS. Al-Ankabut : 2-3).

Sesungguhnya manusia akan sentiasa diuji.. bezanya hanya di tahap apa dan bagaimana bentuknya ujian itu hanya Allah yang maha mengetahui. Berlainan dengan penganut agama lain, kita sebagai umat Islam percaya pada syurga dan neraka; pada qadak dan qadar. Kehidupan di dunia hanya sementara.. umpama satu persinggahan atau transit ke dunia lain yang lebih baik dan sempurna. Paspot kita adalah ketaqwaan kita, keimanan dan kesabaran kita menghadapi segala ujian dan musibah yang ditentukan ke atas kita.

Lagi tinggi tahap iman kita, lagi berat ujian itu. Seorang ustazah mungkin diuji kesabarannya dengan tidak mempunyai cahaya mata bertahun-tahun selepas berkahwin; seorang ibu tunggal mungkin diuji dengan fitnah jiran tetangga; seorang suami yang baik mungkin diuji dengan isteri yang curang, dan sebagainya. Apa-apa pun ujian atau musibah yang dihadapi, janganlah kita sekali-kali menyalahkan takdir. Jangan kita membelakangi agama Islam dalam usaha mencari jalan penyelesaian. Juga jangan kita cepat berputus asa dan membiarkan sikap keji seperti dendam, hasad dengki, marah, benci, prasangka dan sebagainya meresap ke dalam hati kita dan menguasai perasaan kita. Sebaliknya kenalah kita bersabar, melenhgkapi diri dengan sifat mahmudah dan bertawakkal kepada yang Maha Mengetahui. Seharusnya kita mendekati diri kita kepada Allah swt pada ketika itu... percayalah bahawa segala-gala kekusutan yang berlaku akan ada jalan penyelesaian yang terbaik.. insyaAllah...

Daripada pembacaan saya:

Kenapa Aku Tak Dapat Apa yang Aku Mau?
"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui." (QS. Al-Baqarah : 216).

Kenapa Ujian Seberat Ini?
"Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya." (QS. Al-Baqarah : 286).

Kenapa Hasilnya Seperti Ini?
"Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi derajatnya, jika kamu orang-orang yang beriman." (QS. Ali Imran : 139).

Bagaimana Aku Harus Menghadapinya?
"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu (menghadapi segala kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan), dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh (di medan perjuangan), dan bersedialah (dengan kekuatan pertahanan di daerah-daerah sempadan), serta bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah, supaya kamu berjaya (mencapai kemenangan)." (QS Ali Imran : 200).
"Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk." (QS. Al-Baqarah : 45).

Apa yang Aku Dapat dari Semua Ini?
"Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari orang-orang mu'min, diri, dan harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga untuk mereka... " (QS. At-Taubah : 111).

Kepada Siapa Aku Berharap?
"Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain diriNya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakkal." (QS. At-Taubah : 129).

Aku Tak Dapat Bertahan Lagi!
"... dan janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yang kafir." (QS. Yusuf : 12)

Itulah keindahan dan perbezaan Islam berbanding ajaran agama lain.

Agama Islam mengajar kita bahawa bayi yang dilahirkan adalah suci dan bersih daripada sebarang dosa. Kita tidak memerlukan pengantara di antara diri kita dengan Allah swt.
Sebaliknya penganut agama Buddha percaya, kesusahan atau musibah itu adalah balasan kepada dosa masa kehidupan yang lalu. Penganut agama Kristian pula perlu mengaku Jesus sebagai Penyelamat maka barulah mendapat jaminan masuk syurga. Penganut agama Hindu pula percaya manusia dapat musibah kerana balasan dosa dahulu.

Maka apabila manusia ditimpa terlalu banyak kesusahan, mereka mungkin akan membunuh diri kerana tidak tahan menghadapi ujian hidup. Orang Islam yang warak pula tidak sebegitu cepat berputus asa. Perbezaan ini kerana pegangan akidah kita berbeza daripada mereka yang menganuti agama lain. Jadi sebagai umat Islam yang dipilih Allah swt menjalani ujian hidup ini, sepatutnya kita bersyukur kerana diuji dan bertawakkal kepadaNya. Hidup di dunia hanya persinggahan sementara.

*pos ini pernah saya terbitkan dalam muslimsocial.com

45 HARI HAJI DI MEKAH, 45 HARI MENANTI DI RUMAH

Apabila bernikah dengan suami, saya tahu dia akan menunaikan fardu haji di Mekah. Suami sepatutnya pergi pada tahun 2006 (tahun itu kami baru berkenalan), tetapi entah mengapa, dia tidak tersenarai dalam kumpulan bakal haji pada tahun tersebut. Selepas kami bernikah beberapa bulan, namanya tersenarai semula untuk 2007 dan kami memang bersyukur. Sudah lama suami menanti untuk menjejakkan kaki di Tanah Suci.

Persiapan menjadi tetamu Allah bukanlah sesuatu yang mudah. Pelbagai ujian Allah swt berikan untuk menguji kesungguhan dan ketahanan bakal tetamunya. Sebagai isteri, saya turut menerima tempiasnya. Mahu tak mahu, saya terpaksa akur dengan hakikat akan ditinggalkan lebih sebulan tanpa suami di sisi. Memanglah mudah nak dikata; sepatutnya itu tak menjadi masalah besar kerana saya telah pun menjanda sebelum ini. Namun kerana ini ibadah haji, bukan pergi merantau untuk berkursus atau bekerja, suasana agak berlainan. Ada kemungkinan suami pergi tak akan kembali, dan ada kemungkinan yang ditinggalkan dijemput oleh malaikat Maut pada musim haji. Saya terpaksa akui saya risau dan agak takut dengan pelbagai kemungkinan ini. Hanya mampu bertawakkal padaNya sahaja dan berdoa agar diajuhi perasaan negatif begini.

Kami merancang tetapi Allah yang menentukan. Hanya Allah yang maha mengetahui keperitan hati ini apabila saya dihalang daripada mengiringi suami ke lapangan terbang. Juga hanya Allah swt yang mampu mengadili perbuatan manusia lain terhadap kita yang lebih lemah. Maka terpaksalah kami mengucapkan selamat tinggal di rumah sahaja.

Berjauhan daripada suami bukanlah senang, tambahan kerana dia pergi untuk ibadah haji. Banyak cabaran kerana kawan-kawan sering bertanya khabarnya tetapi saya hanya mampu senyum dan berkata "Sihat". Pada bulan Disember pula , apabila jemaah haji mulai pulang, saya terpaksa pula menjawab pertanyaan kawan-kawan, 'sudah balikkah suami awak?' dengan jawapan "belum lagi...insyaAllah tak lama lagi pulanglah." Saya pula tidak bebas menelefon ke sana kerana hubungan telefon terputus setibanya dia di Mekkah. Dia yang dapat menelefon dan menghantar sms kerana menggunakan talian Arab Saudi. Satu sms berharga RM0.50. Perbezaan masa kira-kira 5 jam antara Mekkah dan Malaysia bermakna sudah tengah malam sedangkan di sana baru masuk solat maghrib. Saya sudah tidur ketika dia selesai solat isyak. Pada waktu pagi, dia pula baru hendak solat subuh. Tambahan tak berani nak berhubung selalu kerana risau mengganggu ibadah hajinya. Dua tiga kali menelefon, bil telefon sudah mencapai Rm100...memang poket kering dengan bayaran bil telefon.

Alhamdulillah sepanjang suami di sana, saya tidak menghadapi sebarang masalah yang serius, malah segala urusan Allah swt permudahkan. Walaupun ada sedikit masalah kesihatan pada awalnya, syukur kerana tidak memerlukan rawatan doktor atau bantuan pihak luar. Semua urusan saya berjalan lancar. Hanya apabila pulang ke rumah, terasa agak kesunyian kerana diri sudah biasa dengan gurau senda suami. Saya gunakan masa dengan menulis blog ini, membaca buku-buku dan menyiapkan kerja kursus pengajian universiti.

Pada ketika inilah, diri saya dekatkan dengan Yang Maha Mengetahui dan Yang Maha Berkuasa. Dialah tempat saya mengadu dan memohon pertolongan. Dialah tempat saya berlindung dan berharap. Segala doa dan harapan untuk suami, saya panjangkan kepadaNya terutama apabila usaha untuk menghubunginya menerusi telefon gagal. Nak tahu erti tabah, masa inilah. Nak menghayati erti sabar, juga masa inilah. Nak belajar kawal emosi dan lidah, masa inilah juga. Kalau dahulu sebelum berkahwin, saya bebas meminta bantuan kawan-kawan tetapi setelah menjadi seorang isteri, saya perlu memikirkan implikasi kepada suami dan keluarganya. Saya tidak mahu lagi menjawab soalan kawan-kawan yang agak pedas ,"Hai, takkan suami awak tak tinggalkan pesan? Famili dia tak tahukah? Tak tolongkah?"

Alhamdulillah suami sudah pulang. Sudahpun kembali ke rutin biasa kami. Saya berjaya 'survive' selama 45 hari, tetapi saya tahu saya bukan berseorangan. Berkat doa suami di Tanah Suci, dan berkat Allah yang memberikan kekuatan diri, mental dan rohaniah. Suami dan isteri bukan milik masing-masing tetapi merupakan amanah daripada Allah swt. Menerima pasangan hidup kita seadanya, bersyukur dengan jodoh yang Allah berikan, dan mempercayai bahawa suami atau isteri yang dinikahi itulah yang terbaik untuk diri kita, menjadi asas dalam sesebuah perkahwinan. Saya hanya mampu berdoa kepada Allah swt, yang menjodohkan kami berdua, agar memberkati rumahtangga kami yang baru dibina setahun yang lalu.

Selamat Ulangtahun Perkahwinan kita, wahai suamiku tersayang.

WHY PUKULLIMA

"Pukullima? Five o'clock?"
I smiled.

The URL that I've chosen for this blog has raised many eyebrows. Why did I choose this word?

Well, naturally when I started this blog, I wanted a name that will be significant to me, and easily remembered by others. I thought for quite a while actually, and finally settled for this name.

So why pukullima?

Pukul lima tree is the name of a special rain tree that can be found everywhere in my university grounds. It's umbrella-shaped, shady and in my eyes, beautiful. I like to look at it, sit under it and admire how Allah our Creator created this tree and everything else in this world. Just look at how happy-looking a pukul lima tree is and you'd understand what I mean. It's never planted in pots because its home is on Mother Earth. I've yet to see a sad-looking or dying pukul lima tree. The leaves of the pukul lima tree opens at dawn and closes up at five o'clock (pukul lima) every evening, hence the name given by observant Malays. It plays its part determined by Allah by taking in our unneeded gas and in return, freely provides us with the needed life-giving oxygen.

Subhanallah... how great is Allah's power to create! I always tell people that one of the easiest and most effective way to see the power of Allah s.w.t. is to study a tree ( if the creation of humans are debatable due to Darwin). Men may claim to be knowledgeable and inventive through Science but they have yet to create something as wonderful as a new species of growing tree, with its spreading branches, colourful and fragrant flowers, and edible fruit. All scientists with their limited knowledge could do today is to clone, not to create.

The tree is special to me because I began my journey into Islam at Taiping which is famous for its beautiful lake garden, with branches of the pukul lima trees stretching out towards the pond. And the sight of these trees at the campus grounds fill me with gladness when I first stepped foot into this foreign place. It is still a good friend that provides shade to everyone who walks under it, and every creature that makes it its home.

Additionally Pukul lima in Malay means five o'clock.

Five o'clock is an important time for us.

We usually wake up at five o'clock in the morning to 'sahur' or have a meal before starting fast during the month of Ramadhan.

We may even wake up at five o'clock in the morning to go to the mosque for subuh prayers.

Five o'clock is the time when we leave the office after a day at work, so that we can hurry home to rest and be with our beloved family.

BOOKS AND BROOCHES

I lingered at the foyer of the university main hall while waiting to leave for another function with my friends. There were many counters opened at the foyer; some by undergraduates and some by outsiders. I stopped by the Consumer counter to look at some books. One caught my eye because it’s different. Its content has nothing to do with what the consumer association is championing.
“Are these printed by CAP too?” I asked the handsome Malay salesman.
“Oh, those are my personal sales,” he replied.
“Really? I’ve never heard of the publisher before.”
He smiled. He told me that he’s helping the author to sell the books.
“Why did she write the book in English? Why not in Malay too?”
“Could be because she is more comfortable using English to tell her stories. She studied in USA before.”
“Well, personally I think she should translate it into Malay so that more Malaysians will benefit from her stories.”
I skimmed the book. It’s quite an interesting book, all motivational stories that have some Islamic verses to relate to Islam, which is why the salesman ( I forgot to ask his name – shows how much I’ve changed since I got married, hehehe) promotes it as a motivational Islamic book. The book costs RM21.00 at the counter. Unfortunately I didn’t have enough cash with me ( I'm saving up for a new car) but I promised the young man that I’ll introduce it in my blog so here it is.
The author is Zabrina A.Bakar. Check out her website at http://www.wisdomthruwords.blogspot.com/.
p/s: Zabrina replied to my comment in her blog. She'll be publishing this book in the Malay language soon. Her book is available at MPH, Kinokuniya, Borders, etc. She's also selling it online and in US bookstores.

Next to that counter was one selling brooches. I couldn’t help stopping by to admire the beautiful brooches. The salesman was a Chinese but the assistant was a Malay lady. Hmm, I was about to leave because I’d prefer buying such things from a Muslim (support Muslims' businesses if possible) when I saw a notice on the board behind the counter. Kedai Ibrahim. I asked him who ‘Ibrahim’ was.
“That’s me,” said the Chinese-looking man.
“You’re a Malay?” I smiled.
“Actually I’m a mualaf,” he replied.
“Well, so am I,” I answered.
“Alhamdulillah. When did you get the hidayah?”
“2006… how about you?”
“2005, before you. Actually I was a lawyer before I converted.” And he took out his Convert Into Islam card, which proved that he converted in 2005 at Selangor. His card looks so high-tech compared to my laminated one from JAIPP, that I was ashamed to show him mine :P
Mr.Ibrahim has quit his law practice and is now working in the brooch-making and selling business.
According to him, his shop and factory produces 100% halal brooches. He explained to me that some chrystals are glued to the brooches with a layer of 'questionable' oil (alamak!). Since his shop is near my house, I might pay a visit soon. I’m hoping he’ll give me a special discount. Then maybe I can dazzle everyone with the latest fashionable brooches on my tudung, hehehee.
Well, got to know one more Muslim author and a Chinese Muslim brother today. Wonderful considering the fact that I was not in the mood to attend lectures at the university today.

SOLAT BERJEMAAH DI MASJID

Sejak memeluk Islam, saya berpendapat salah satu perkara yang mencabar tetapi amat berkesan kepada seseorang mualaf adalah mengerjakan solat berjemaah di masjid. Bayangkanlah mengerjakan solat bersama-sama dengan orang lain, berdiri dalam satu saf, rukuk dan sujud pada waktu yang sama, dan berdoa bersama-sama. Ia amat menenangkan jiwa. Mudah dikerjakan kerana hanya perlu mengikut imam.

Namun cabaran pertama tentu sekali memberanikan diri untuk menjejakkan kaki ke masjid tersebut. Bagi orang yang sudah biasa ke masjid, tak akan berasa apa-apa tetapi bagi saya yang sudah biasa lalu di sana tetapi sebagai orang baru yang hendak masuk ke sana untuk mengerjakan solat, macam-macam perasaan bermain di jiwa. Takut, risau, segan dan macam-macam lagi. Entah mengapa, saya tidak pernah diajak ke masjid untuk solat berjemaah oleh kawan-kawan mahupun oleh ustazah. Mungkin di peringkat universiti, para pelajar perempuan lebih selesa mengerjakan solat di surau atau bilik masing-masing. Maklum sahaja, bila tamat kuliah masing-masing sudah letih. Malas nak berjalan jauh ke masjid untuk solat maghrib dan solat isyak, tambahan tidak wajib bagi wanita bersolat di masjid.

Solat berjemaah saya di masjid bermula pada bulan Ramadhan 2006. Niat di hati hendak mengerjakan solat terawih. Alhamdulillah ada juga adik yang mengajak, dan selepas berbuka puasa beramai-ramai di masjid, kami pun masuk ke masjid menanti bermulanya solat terawih. Saya agak kalut juga pada mulanya. Kalau di rumah, ambil wuduk seorang demi seorang (boleh relak sedikit) tetapi di masjid ambil beramai-ramai, kena cepat dan betul. Selepas itu kena cepat-cepat menyarungkan telekung dan kain sembahyang, baru mencari ruang di saf yang paling hampir dengan baris pertama yang sudah penuh dengan makmum. Terasa pula banyak mata yang memerhati dari kanan, kiri dan belakang. Aduhai… berdegup jantung kerana risau membuat silap depan orang ramai. Maklum sahaja baru belajar mengerjakan solat tak sampai empat bulan. Lagipun saya memang tak biasa dengan disiplin ketika solat berjemaah. Kena tunggu imam memberi arahan. Kena duduk rapat-rapat. Setiap gerak-geri ketika solat kena seiring dengan orang di sebelah. Tambah ketika solat terawih, kena berulang lapan atau sebelas kali. Kalut juga.

Namun niat hendak berjemaah di masjid tidak pernah luput. Hanya kekangan masa kerana tugas dan pengajian sepenuh masa ini yang sedikit sebanyak menghalang niat daripada menjadi realiti. Sebenarnya salah satu kebaikan mengerjakan solat berjemaah adalah kerana dapat berkenalan dengan muslimin dan muslimah lain yang tinggal di kawasan yang sama. Jadi saya hanya mampu berdoa dan berharap agar diberi peluang mengerjakan solat berjemaah di masjid dengan selamat.

“Jom kita ke masjid untuk solat maghrib/ isyak,” kata khalifahku selepas kami bernikah. “Jangan lupa bawa telekung dalam beg.”
"Kita singgah di masjid ### untuk solat, ok. Tak sempat nak sampai rumah ni."
Alhamdulillah rasa risau dan gerun mengerjakan solat berjemaah di masjid sedikit-sebanyak berkurangan apabila kerap melakukan ibadah ini. Beg berisi kain dan telekung siap tergantung di rumah untuk dibawa bersama pada bila-bila masa. Rasa seronok pula menziarah masjid bersama khalifahku. Banyak juga masjid yang kami ziarah sekitar Pulau Pinang dan Kedah. Ada yang memberikan suasana yang menyenangkan apabila kami masuk, dan ada yang kurang dari beberapa segi. Saya suka tempat yang menyediakan ruang berasingan dan bertutup untuk jemaah wanita mengambil wuduk; kalau bersebelahan dengan ruang solat wanita lebih bagus. Juga tempat yang menyediakan telekung dan kain sembahyang yang mencukupi dan bersih untuk mereka yang memerlukannya. Di samping itu, penyediaan cermin yang mencukupi untuk jemaah wanita memakai kembali tudung mereka dengan kemas dan sempurna amat dihargai. Sudah tentu masjid yang berjaya menyediakan pelbagai kemudahan yang sesuai bagi jemaah mencerminkan keprihatinan para makmum yang memakmurkan masjid berkenaan.

Aneh, kalau singgah di masjid atau surau pada waktu selepas waktu solat, amat susah hendak berjumpa dengan imam atau penjaga tempat itu. Ke manakah mereka? Kalau seseorang hendak meminta bantuan atau nasihat, ke manakah dia hendak merujuk? Tidak kelihatan pula notis bagaimana menghubungi imam masjid mahupun penjaga masjid. Lagipun masjid atau surau biasanya lenggang pada waktu petang selepas solat zohor. Kalau bukan hari raya, mereka yang memakmurkan masjid setiap kali solat pun tidak ramai, kebanyakan hanya mereka yang agak berumur. Hanya Allah s.w.t yang Maha Mengetahui sebabnya.

WHY VALENTINE?

I looking at the perfumes at the Avon booth this afternoon. My Hindu friend had just remembered that tomorrow is Valentine Day.

“Aiyoh, I haven’t bought anything for my husband,” she said.
‘Well, Aliya…what did you get for your own husband?”
I laughed. “Nothing, we don’t observe Valentine’s Day.”
“Oh…” she looked surprised.
I chose not to tell her that Husband and I have agreed not to celebrate anything which is connected to other faiths and beliefs, such as Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Day. She might think that we have become Islamic fanatics, hehehe.
Anyway, she bought some Valentine's day gifts at the counter and we left for lunch.
Later I bumped into another Hindu friend who seemed to face the same problem.
“Too busy laa, no time to go shopping. I’d have to stop by at the gift shop and get my husband something," she told me.
I quietly observed as I entered the gift shop with her. It was full of young people selecting presents for their special somebody on February 14. Everyone there seems to be engrossed in finding something suitable to be presented to their loved ones tomorrow as a sign of their love.

Hmmm… there seems that almost everyone is getting somebody something on February 14, Valentine’s Day. Lover’s Day or as Malays call it, Hari Kekasih.
Funny, why do people observe this day of all days to show love to their loved ones?
And who the heck is Valentine anyway? He was a Christian priest. I thought Christian priests are supposed to be chaste; yet this one fell in love with a woman and wrote her a love letter before his death, signed ‘from your Valentine.’ Well, I suppose the world is really hungry for love stories such as these that the Christian community in the West chose to celebrate this day. And as somebody who had died hundreds of years ago, Mr.Valentine sure has lots of devotees. They are people of all sizes, all ages and interestingly, almost all religions’ believers.

I was a skeptic even before I became a Muslim. Oh sure, I loved the gifts and attention but I didn’t like the feeling of being forced to give somebody something just because it happens to be worldwide ‘Lovers’ Day’. And in this modern age of equality, the ladies are also supposed to have something in return for the roses, chocolates and a special table for two at the posh restaurant to prevent the gentlemen from sulking and complaining of being fleeced. It’s troublesome to have to go through all the troubles to prove one’s love. I quit celebrating V.Day since my first marriage broke down years ago. Now I can save money by choosing not to spend it on a commercialised gift that costs 5-times more tomorrow. Besides V.Day contradicts with Islamic teachings.

Oh, online friends such as Abu Usamah Mohd Masri have prepared pamplets about the ‘haram’ of celebrating V.Day. Why do they have to do that? Sadly, some Malay Muslims in their attempt to modernise themselves and their lifestyle have chosen to celebrate V.Day. They have forgotten to notice that the cards they buy for their loved ones contain illustrations of a boy with a bow and arrows, who is actually the heathen Greek god Cupid. They have forgotten that V.Day is a Christian celebration in honour of a Christian priest. In their ignorance, they have forgotten Allah’s warnings about celebrating festivals of other religions. And to worsen the already bad practice, some even choose to do ‘bad things’ with their darlings as a form of celebration. All in the name of love? Sounds more like all that done under the shade of ignorance and refusal to abide to the rules of Islam.

Funny, Christian clergy had at one time, opposed this festival yet today, it is so grandly celebrated by people all over the world. There is no reason why Muslims should follow suit in joining this celebration because it was not done during Rasulullah’s and sahabah’s days. Koran and Hadith already give warnings about celebrating the ‘kafir’s’ festivals yet many are giving excuses:
“Takkan sambut Hari Kekasih pun tak boleh? Kolot la” (Don’t be too old fashioned and conservative)
“Sekadar menunjukkan kasih sayang kita kepada orang tersayang.” (just to show our love)
“Bertukar-tukar hadiah saja.” ( Just to exchange presents)
“ Nama saja Hari Valentine. Bukan dipaksa masuk gereja pun.” ( just the name. We’re not going to church anyway)

Right. Excuses and reasons. We have 364 days to show our love other than February 14 but why specifically choose Valentine’s Day? Why should we as Muslims follow the crowd of Valentine celebrators honour the death of a Christian priest? Dare we give the above excuses for this celebration before our Maker later for disobeying His commandments?
Me? I don’t dare to.

REJECT CULTURE IN THE NAME OF ISLAM?

Effective reading class.
We were discussing about the problems of reviving the Malay wayang kulit, or shadow play in Malaysia. Questions were thrown about and answers were given freely among us, where half the class were Muslims and another half were not.

Suddenly, Ben stood up and spoke loudly.
“Sorry if what I’m going to say may offend some of you. In my opinion, the problem today is that Muslims have adopted the Arabic culture in their dressing and way of life. Anything that is not Arabic is considered unIslamic. That is why even the traditional Malay wayang kulit has been rejected by Malays because it is considered unIslamic. Even women’s way of dressing is no longer Malay style of kebaya and kurung. Now the women have to cover up in tudung, jubah, purdah and the men in long robes and serban. You have rejected your own culture and tradition in the name of Islam and Islamic culture.”

The hall fell silent.
We looked at each other. I waited for somebody to reply but it seemed like everyone was waiting for someone to take the initiative. I hated to do it but there seemed to be nobody else who wanted to answer Ben's provocative question. So with a silent prayer, I stood up. Haiyah, Aliya again.

There were two issues to be tackled. Firstly, that being Islamic means being Arabic. Secondly, Malays rejected the wayang kulit, their own culture, because it is unIslamic.
I explained to Ben and everyone in the hall that the concept of Islamic does not mean having to adopt Arabic culture. While it is true that Islam originates from the Arab nations, so do Christianity and the Jewish religion. Of course, with the Koran in the Arabic language and the obligatory hajj in Mecca, we naturally have a close connection to Saudi Arabia. However, being a Muslim does not mean that we have to adopt the Arabic culture of dressing. I explained the real concept of Islamic code of dressing for Muslims women, which is to cover all except the face and the palms of the hands for women, as stated in the Koran, surah an-Nur. It is fine for Muslims to wear anything as long as it is adheres to the teachings of Islam; not necessarily have to wear the jubbahs. However, some may choose to do so because jubbahs are loose and comfortable. Same for the men. They can choose to wear serban or go bare-headed. Nobody is being forced to follow the Arabic dress-code.

“But why didn’t the women wear like they used to in the 60s and 70s .ie. tight kebaya and free-flowing hair?”
“Because at that time most of them were ignorant of the teachings of Islam. With knowledge comes enlightenment and changes, laaa. We want spiritual advancement too, you know not just material comfort.”

“Why can’t they leave the wayang kulit alone? Why ban it from being performed in public?”
“Well, keep in mind that the stories in wayang kulit plays are Hindu epic of Ramayana and Mahabaratha, with jins, fairies and Hindu gods. The people who perform the shadow plays are Malay Muslims; hence it is contradictory to teachings of Islam. Furthermore, as we know, the puppeteers had some ‘mantra’ or chants before performance to appease the ‘spirits’ of the puppets, which is syirik or wrong according to Islam. So this shadow play is banned because it contradicts with Islamic teachings. Of course, if we adapt it to other stories and stop the ‘mantra’ ritual, of course it can be performed again or public viewing.”
“But that won’t be original wayang kulit anymore!!”
“Tell me the, what cultural practices remain pure and original today? Chinese wedding? Hindu funeral rites? We adapt according to the time and our increased knowledge, don’t we all?”

Others had joined in the discussion. We had a long heated one that day, and needed the wise comments of the lecturer to close the discussion amiably. There are still a lot of issues that the other communities do not understand or misinterpreted. Kost of these concepts are not highlighted or discussed openly, so the misinformation remains among the communities. Too bad.

After the class, I asked my Muslim friends why they has not answered Ben’s question.
“Eee, tak tau la bagaimana nak jawab, Aliya.” ( I don’t know how to answer)
“ Takut salah jawab, nanti kena batang hidung sendiri.” (Scared of answering wrongly, then I'd been seen as stupid)
“My English is not that good. I don’t know what to say.”
“ I was waiting for others to answer first, hehehe…”
Well, perhaps because I was not a born-Muslim I think differently. I don't keep quiet like most Malay Muslim ladies do. I guess being a revert gives one certain advantages and a different way of thinking. Also I believe that we have to be prepared all the time to answer such questions as well as we can. Loose the chance due to our own insecurities and we might loose the chance to give true information about Islam to others. The only way to be confident to answer is through readings of religious books on Islam, especially the Koran. Don’t you agree?

WE ALMOST BLEW IT

I prayed and dhikir all the way to the restaurant last night. Allah s.w.t really tested our patience and faith. It was not the best of days; we started off badly. Husband was home late because he was stuck in traffic. Then we rushed along the busy trunk roads to pick up my husband’s parents about 15 minutes away. By the time we passed the gate of the golf resort where the dinner was held, we were very late. Mum and Brother had waited for an hour since 7pm. We arrived at 8pm. It certainly was not the best way to start the first meeting between my family and my husband’s.

Great, we’re going to get steamed by Mum, I thought as I hurried to the venue.

Alhamdulillah Allah swt is Merciful. Mum did frown and Brother complained of hunger. Otherwise, it was a smooth meeting. Everyone settled down well at the table after the brief introduction. At RM20++ per head, there was plenty of halal food on the table. We ate until we couldn’t move, while keeping the conversation going. The two senior ladies got along well, and the three gentlemen joked and gorged themselves on the food.

I was ready to be interrogated by Mum but she seemed to be in a good mood. I wore a jubah-pants suit (gift from husband for being in the dean’s list) with a long shawl instead of the usual tudung. There were about eight tables of steamboat guests other than ours’ (three Malay families, two Indians, two Chinese) at the venue but ours was the only one with a combination of Chinese and Malays. Even the Malay waiters notice the difference as they’d linger near the table and attended to our needs immediately.

We took family photographs during and after the dinner. Usually Mum will refuse to be with me as I wear a tudung, but last night she relented and had photos taken with this daughter, hahaha… the first since I reverted to Islam. Well, I suppose a full stomach makes a happy and contented person, or perhaps she did so because my mum-in-law is with us. Anyway, I’m glad that the dinner ended in a positive note. I hope Mum is happy to meet her new son-in-law and her new ‘besan’ (husband’s parents).

Brother even invited us home for first day of Chinese New Year but as Dad is around (don’t want to risk a quarrel on CNY day), we decided to visit later. After all, there are fifteen days of Chinese New Year festival. And yes, I did wash my hair today and swept the floor. We had a simple home-cooked lunch, just husband and I.

Syukur alhamdulillah for everything. Hopefully the dinner will urn out to be a good platform of developing siratulrahim between my family and my husband’s, so that we can slowly do dakwah about Islam. Of course, it will take time but insyaAllah I believe it can be done. After last night’s events which might have gone badly, I have to admit my trust and faith in Him has strengthened somehow. Thanks to Allah All Mighty for everything.

“… For us Allah suffices, and He is the best disposer of affairs.” (3:173)

CELEBRATING CNY 2ND TIME AROUND

I love decorations and I love the colour red.
Every Chinese New Year, I used to put up all the red banners and stuff
on the walls, the trees and wherever I could think of. The whole living room will be full of red 'ting-tong-tiang' decorations ranging from red pineapples, red fake fire-crackers and colourful goodluck couplets, as well as chrysanthemum flowers, pussy willows, bamboos, lime trees, and mandarin oranges.
I'd have them for the festive mood, and after all it's only once a year. The stuff will be kept and recycled the following year. As a result, I have three bags of those stuff in my Taiping house.
I did the decorations because I enjoyed it. And after learning about fengshui through Lilian Too's books, I'd automatically adjust things based on the latest readings. That's my duty every year, other than basic cleaning and cooking for the family dinner. I've already backed off from the prayer stuff and giving homage to the ancestors years ago; that's my ex-husband's job.

However, my first Chinese New Year as a Muslim, after I was banned from going home, was a quiet one at the university. I kept myself entertained by surfing the internet. And I survived the season, alhamdulillah..

And now, I'd be having my second Chinese New Year as a Muslim.
And now, I've a place to call my own.
And I'm so tempted to continue the decorating tradition, hehehee.
My darling husband, sensing my mood, has already issued a warning.
"No funny symbolism things, ok. Be careful."
So to play safe, I'm sticking to flowers. Just some fake plum blossoms will do this year. Perhaps if I'm lucky, I can get some real flowers at the market tomorrow. Will be cooking some Chinese dishes to mark the festival.

Well, I'll be breaking traditions again. It's not easy to undo what 36 years of age-old traditional beliefs that have been drummed into your head. I've decided not to wear any new clothes on the first day of Chinese New Year, so that I won't continue to believe in luck based on new clothes (new undergarments don't count, hahahaa). I'll wash my hair on the first day if I have to, and not believe that washing hair will wash away all my goodluck for the coming year. I'll sweep the floor in the morning as usual, because I want to remind myself that Allah gives us all the 'rezeki' and that sweeping the floor has nothing to do with 'rezeki' from Him. I'm avoiding from seeking out Chinese astrological predictions for 2008, so that I won't be influenced by the readings. Not easy man, but I'm disciplining myself.

InsyaAllah I'll be having a halal steamboat dinner with my family and in-laws. Am praying hard that the dinner will be successful and give positive results. The table's been booked, the hamper is ready, and the ang-pows are packed. All I have to do now is worry what to wear for the dinner ( minus the baju kurung and loose flowing jubah - mum will nag that I've become a Malay; minus the nyonya kebaya, body-hugging tops, hips-hugging skirts, jeans and short-sleeved blouses - those have been confined to husband's eyes only, hehehe)... not much choice left la.

Well, Happy Lunar New Year everyone. Enjoy the holidays.

TALKING ABOUT DEATH

"Dear, can I ask you something personal?"
"Sure... what is it?"
"Well... I've been thinking.If I were to die tomorrow, where will I be buried?"

The conversation took place in the car one night. Being busy folks as we are, some of our most serious talks were held in the confines of the car as we rushed from one place to another.

My husband took his time.
"Well, dear... do you have any friend close to you whom you are sure will visit your grave?"
" A few but then they might move away too."
"Then you can have your final resting place in my hometown. After all, you are my wife."
Alhamdulillah, one nagging question has finally been answered.

"Erm, dear.. another thing. What if my time has come when you are still performing your haj? Who will settle my funeral?"
"Don't worry. I've made arrangements with my family to take care of you in case of any unforeseen circumstances. They'll do everything and when I return, I'll visit your grave. InsyaAllah I'll pray at your grave every year. Are you ok with that?"
"Fine," I smiled at my husband.
"Don't worry, we just do our best and leave the rest to Allah. Nobody knows when 'ajal' will come, " he assured me.
"I know but I just want to be prepared, that's all."
"It's good to prepare and make arrangements, dear. I understand what you're implying. And if something were to happen to me during my haj too, I'd prefer to be taken home and buried in my hometown too. That is, if it can be arranged, because I'd like my family to visit my grave too."


photo image: artmelayu.blogspot.com

Death is inevitable. And death is a sensitive issue. All new Muslim reverts will worry about where they will be buried when they die. I used to, because logically I can no longer be buried in a Chinese graveyard with the Tao-Buddhist rites. I do not have any adopted family who consider me a member of their family, hence no sense of belonging or kampung to go to for Muslim festivities. Nor do I want to be buried at an obscure site where nobody will bother to visit. Also, I worry about how my still-Buddhist family members will react if my corpse is handled by strangers from the religious department.

Allah swt has been kind and merciful. I wasn't planning to remarry so soon but then everything is under His will. Naturally, having a good, responsible Muslim husband solves the problem.