SOALAN SENSITIF

"Eerr.. nak tanya sikit. . Soalan sensitif," Encik Samsul menghampiri Cikgu Zaleha.
"Pasal kawan saya tu?"
"Hah.. " Encik Samsul mengiayakan.
"Nak tahu apa?"
"Err.. dia tu Cina atau Melayu? Aku dengar dia cakap Cina dengan budak budak Cina."
"Memang dia Cina pun. Agama Islam."
"Oh, patutlah putih. Dia masuk Islam sebab kahwin yer?"
Cikgu Zaleha menarik nafas. Berfikir.  Mulalah cerita panjang lagi tentang kawan yang seorang tu.. demi mengikis pandangan sempit masyarakat umum bahawa wanita masuk Islam sebab berkahwin.
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"Pai toi!" Saya berikan arahan ringkas.
Cikgu Safiyah memuji, "Pandai cikgu cakap bahasa Cina!"
Saya senyum.
"Saya memang Cina."
Setelah pelajar berbaris, kami berbual-bual sambil turun tangga ke blok lain.
"Cikgu dah lama ker masuk Islam? Suami Melayu?"
"Tak lama, baru lapan tahun. Ya, suami saya Melayu."
Soalan rutin. Sebaik saja tahu saya ini Cina muslim, biasanya itulah soalan yang menyusul.
"Masuk Islam lepas kahwin ya?"
Senyum lagi. Dah terlalu biasa ditanya, soalan begini pun yang asalnya bersifat agak sensitif pun dah tak sensitif lagi. Dah lali agaknya.. hehe.
"Sebenarnya saya masuk Islam dulu sebelum kahwin. Sendiri-sendiri la dulu, belum ada niat nak kahwin dengan siapa-siapa...tujuh bulan lepas tu baru suami saya masuk meminang.."
"Ohh.."
Senyum terus.

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Aduh, perlukah seorang wanita ada niat kahwin lelaki beragama Islam baru nak masuk Islam kah?
Sedih juga bila difikirkan, bagaimana masyarakat amnya termasuk yang beragama Islam memandang seorang saudara baru/revert yang telah memeluk agama Islam. "Mesti dia dah ada pakwe/makwe Melayu sebab tu dia masuk Islam".." Mesti dah nak kahwin"
Bagaimanakah jikalau tanggapan mereka itu salah dan saudara baru itu sebenarnya masih solo? Bukankah berdosa juga jikalau telah membuat satu kesimpulan tanpa memeriksa kesahihan spekulasi itu? Bertambah dosa lagi bukan jika dengan tanggapan bahawa revert itu telah ada orang tersayang untuk menjaga kebajikannya, maka dia tak perlu lagi diberi bantuan dan bimbingan sewajarnya?
Kes begitu dah pernah berlaku kepada saya sendiri.  Teringat lagi bagaimana saya terkial-kial seorang diri membuat persiapan menyambut aidilfitri serta aidiladha pertama sebagai muslim tanpa adanya keluarga angkat. Syukurlah waktu itu saya sudah ada pendapatan sendiri. Alhamdulillah sebab saya ni muka tebal tak tahu malu meminta bantuan dekan pengajian saya, tak payahlah saya berseorangan sambut raya di bilik asrama.. huhu. Semua berpunca daripada sangkaan orangramai bahawa saya dah berpunya ketika itu :)
Oleh itu, saya amat berhati-hati apabila berjumpa saudara revert lain. Berjumpa atau berhubung dengannya tanpa membuat andaian tentang dirinya terlebih dahulu lebih lebih lagi bertanya dah ada boyfriend/girlfriend muslim. Jika dia ada, tak salah pun.. terima saja.  Namun jika dia takde teman teristimewa itu tetapi berminat pada Islam, jangan pula anggap dia pelik. Terima dia saja sebagai ahli keluarga muslim yang baru dan bantulah dengan sebaik-baiknya.
Memeluk Islam tak semestinya sebab nak kahwin.
Jika orang hanya memeluk Islam sebab untuk kahwin takdelah wujud tokoh-tokoh dan pendakwah Islam yang kita kenali dalam sejarah.. betul tak?

THE MAN

I looked at him.
"How are you?"
He nodded and mumbled something which I could not hear.
I just nodded back, as I didn't want to stress him out.
That's my dad, the man who helped to form me into the person I am today.
I was never close to Dad. He was the 'now you see him, now you don't' type. I grew up being afraid of him and what he was capable of doing when he lost his temper. He had shown me what domestic violence meant; the ugly side and its effects. By watching him, I learned to control my own temper.
Now as I watched his slow walk across the hall I was reminded of the strength and agility that once belonged to him. He was a good-looking man in his youth, which attracted many ladies to his side. He married his childhood sweetheart, my mom a year before I was born. As he liked the outdoors and traveling, there were times I didn't see him for weeks. He was busy and when he's not out if towb, he'll arrive home long after I've gone to bed.
Now, I only see an old greying man who could no longer drive his car as he couldn't control the pedals and the steering. In a way I was glad because he had been driving rather dangerously for the past few years.
Dad finally sat down. I asked him what the doctor said. He signaled that he couldn't speak.. that he had lost his voice.
The man who used to sing karaoke loudly at home and drove my mom crazy, had lost his voice.
The man who used to sneer at civil servants for their pension, now depends on the government's goodwill for his medication.
The man who used to threaten me with harm should I return home as a muslimah, now suffers from a minor stroke.
The irony of it all.
Once a proud man, in his old age he no longer has his voice, his vitality and his home.
Grandma glanced at him across the table and said, " The doctor said his brain has been affected so he can't speak properly now."
"Is he taking his medicine regularly?"
She nodded. Poor Grandma had to take him in as he had nowhere else to go after the divorce. She's staying alone anyway so Dad's presence would keep her company ( and to ensure that she's safe). Besides he didn't want to stay with me as he would miss his friends, who would come and drive him out for a cup of tea.
I don't know how long he'd be like this. It's painful to see the deterioration. May Allah have mercy on him and give him hidayah to be a muslim.
He enjoyed having his two young grandsons around although they messed up his things. I guess that's the least I can do to make him happy, taking the boys over for a short visit whenever I'm free. And with brother ignoring him, I suppose I'll also be his only child to send him off on his final journey, the child he once disowned for leaving ancestral worship and reverting to Islam.