Friday, January 30

WHAT A SHAME!

If I were a Muslim man from Teluk Kucai, Kuala Kedah, I would be ashamed to tell anyone now. Even more ashamed to tell anybody if I'm still living in that area. Why?

A Chinese Muslim man almost bled to death recently because he had slashed his own hand. Now what's that to do with living in that area, you might ask? Oh, plenty of reasons.

You see, he was under a lot of stress because after he reverted to Islam, the local Muslims didn't really welcome him. Whenever he prays at the mosque, he'd be taunted for having a tattoo on his hand; a tattoo which was made 20 years ago when he was a teenager and is believed to be passed down among his family members. It's a tattoo which could not be removed easily.

It is forbidden for Muslims to have a tattoo drawn on his body, so Anas (his Muslim name) was under a lot of pressure to have it removed. I don't know what actually happened but news reported that Anas was told by the locals that he's not a proper Muslim until he removes his tattoo? That the tattoo will not make his prayers accepted by Allah swt, because the tattoo prevents water from reaching the skin of his hand?

I know how judgemental some people can be and how busybody some people are when they don't even have proper knowledge of the matter. However I do wonder why the local mosque authorities especially the imam and all the ustaz in that area have never helped Anas to get medical treatment if he insists on removing the tattoo. Better still, why they have not told him that as a revert to Islam, that it's not compulsory for him to even remove the tattoo at all if removing it will cause health problems to him. That the tattoo was already there when he was a nonMuslim, and not drawn on purpose (like some Muslim youngsters have done) after he reverted to Islam? Their own ignorance or their own sense of superiority "I know better than you becasue I'm been a Muslim longer?" What a shame!

Add that to the fact that Anas reverted to Islam based on his love for Islam and doesn't even have a proper home now (he was given a room to stay at the mosque, which tells us a lot about his financial state). Anas who was already depressed when he was rejected ( even scolded?) by his family when he returned home for Chinese New Year, couldn' bear the taunts by the local Muslim anymore and decided to do away with the tattoo in the only way he could - by slashing his own hand.

Oh, I do feel so sorry for the Muslims of Teluk Kucai, Kuala Kedah who had taunted Anas and indirectly forced him do this harmful act. What if he had died due to excessive bleeding before he was found by his friend, Mohd Firdaus Razali? Would the same men who had taunted him say then that Anas was stupid and sinful to kill himself ? Shame on them! For all we know, Anas who had repeatedly recited"Allah.. Allah" when found slumped on the toilet floor of the mosque, is actually less sinful than the 'holier than thou" men who taunted him mercilessly for having a tattoo.

Why is it that when a man or a woman reverted to Islam, usually he or she is not totally accepted by the local Malay Muslim community, who look with suspicions on these new brothers and sisters? Why are reverts often scrutinised and any imperfections are pointed out with contempt? For example, their lack of proper etiquette (meaning only Malay etiquette laa), complaints of them being rude (again meaning only follow Malay way of speaking laa), their lack of proper aurat-covered dressing ( heck, you expect tudung and aurat covered dresses to fall from the sky within hours after reciting the syahadah?) and their lack of initiative to attend Islamic classes (not all reverts have vehicles, so provide free transportations/carpool services laa, cakap pandai ajer).

Don't they know that Islam instruct Muslims to be helpful and kind to their brothers, or does their own interpretation mean only being helpful to those of their own kith and kin, and their own race?Even today, there're some born-Muslims who question the rights of all new reverts or mualaf who receive zakat (oh, there're proof in the local Malay newspapers). I can go on and on but I will say only one thing - watch your own family before you pass judgement on others. Make sure all your wives, daughters, sisters and sons are adhering strictly to the teachings of Islam (no hair-rebonding, aurat-covered attire, no dating, no tattoo of any kind, no commercial hair dyes) before you start to taunt/ridicule a mualaf about his tattoo or her lack of proper Islamic dressing. Remember the person you taunt/pass harsh judgement on may have less sins in the eyes of Allah swt than you do!?!

Oh, pardon me for my harsh words but I'm so P.O by this senseless act that almost drove a fellow brother in Islam to his death. Muslim reverts can be very sensitive (especially those abandned by their own families after embracing Islam) and at the same time, are eager to gain acceptance by Allah and the local Muslim community. Their lack of knowledge about the true teachings of Islam may lead them to follow blindly the ideas of other Muslims. As Muslim NGOs and the state Islamic affairs personel may not be able to conduct regular checks on the conditions of all the reverts in this country, it's the local Muslim community where the reverts live who have to play their roles properly. Taunting a Muslim brother about a tattoo when he has already been forgiven for all his sins when he recited his 2-kalimah syahadah (which includes the tattoo) is a sin, which is only pardoned when the person seeks forgiveness from the victim.

It's not a coincidence that Anas was rescued by his friend. It's not a coincidence that the news was reported for 2 consecutive days by a local Malay tablod and repeated in a local English-language newspaper. Oh I wonder what those of other faiths would say when they read the news the English newspaper which has not explained that Islam does not require Muslim reverts to remove old tattoos.. Would they say,"See? He's a loser? His family rejects him and the Muslims also reject him. So why want to be a Muslim laaa.. boloh!"??? Or would they say,"Wahh.. so difficult to be a Muslim? Must slash hand that has tattoo? Islam so strict ahh?" See, now we have to do more explaining to the nonMuslim community regarding this issue; it's our responsibility so that they won't have the wrong impression of Islam and its teachings. Oh, thnak you very very very much, you Muslims of Teluk Kucai.

May Anas's self-inflicted injury be the last one involving Muslim reverts in Malaysia. We can excuse Anas' action due to his own lack of Islamic knowledge and lack of proper guidance from the learned Islamic scholars but can we give the same excuse for the local men who had continuously and mercilessly taunted him about his tattoo?

While we all care for our Muslim brothers and sisters in Palestine, we should remember not to neglect the welfare of our own Muslim family members in our own backyard. The welfare of those nearer to us is more important and we will be questioned about how we treat them in akhirat later. Even a Malay proverb warns us not 'To feed the monkeys in the jungle with milk, while your own children at home go hungry.'So I hope we all have learnt a lesson from our brother Anas (Anas means friend in Arabic).

26 comments:

  1. ..I am sad to read your story. There is a conventional way to remove tattoo by using getah buah macang muda..ie if that is necessary..

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  2. What a shame indeed! Astaghfirullah. It is indeed the sign of the Last Hour when ignorant people speak and lead people astray.

    This also applies to people insisting new male reverts to undergo immediate circumcision!!

    I've been meaning to express the idea in your last paragraph for ages. You have done it nicely.

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  3. indeed...i am also sometimes provoked by some of my Muslim-born friends when i don't know something about Islam. Well, they should be understanding. After all, i just reverted on the 14th of Nov last year, how can i know so many things in such a short time but, alhamdulillah, things are getting better.

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  4. akak.saya betul2 simpati dengan anas.bukan saja dengan anas.saya ada baca banyak lagi kisah2 macam ni.saya rasa malaysian ada fahaman yg pelik tentang islam.mereka terlampau obses dan tak sedar mereka sendiri buat silap,padahal islam tu sangat2 indah kalau kita fahami betul2.

    beberapa hari lepas dalam erl ketika di kL saya ada berborak dengan seorang lelaki cina tentang hal tudung.dia terlampau paranoid sampai menganggap siapa2 yg pakai tudung itu terrorist.haih.dia sendiri mengaku kurang berkawan dengan muslim sebab menganggap muslim itu ganas.lihat lah persepsi mereka..

    saya sedih sangat.tak kisah lah kita bangsa apa.saya harap dengan pengetahun islam yang kita ada ni,kita lagi boleh tolong antara satu sama lain.bukan buat apa yg terjadi pada anas tu.kasihan dia.mereka beria mahu membantu rakyat palestine.rakyat mereka sendiri mereka taktahu macam mana mahu tolong.saya harap sangat mereka akan berubah..

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  5. Astaghfirullah..Subhanallah...May God forgive them all.

    This is what i called a Muslim in name only.

    That they act blindly,
    That they behave as if they are superior,
    That they believe they are the chosen ones,
    That they think that they are always right.

    Don't they realise that a muallaf sins is forgiven the moment the he recites the Syahadah?

    Are not they aware that to remove the tattoo which may cause more harm than good is wrong?


    To share with you Kak Aliya, I am very "softie" by nature and I have always been called all sorts of name since i was in primary school right up to when I was serving my national service. It is really sickening and very often I get really really sad.

    However my mom always believe that faith in Allah is much superior than we cringe towards those who are prejudice.

    Truly the years of taunting hurt me more than you can ever know and can you believe that it happened in mosques when i was about to do my solat Jumaat? This was many years ago. One incident caused me not to return to the mosque again much less do the Jumaat prayers. How SiNFUL i have become!

    It was only many years later when an elderly colleague brought me to the mosque and tell me that I am not who they calls me to be, that I am a man who is responsible to his family, who works hard to get where he wants to be and is on par with all men who had served the country.

    Yes Kak Aliya, it can be very tearful when i think of the past, but i am glad that i am given a life full of blessings now. I see it as a reward for all those years i was taunted and mock at.

    In other words, i can understand the pain Anas went through even though it is totally different in nature.

    As for me the boys refused to play with me and the girls ignored me. I was largely left on my own.

    Its only the one who sees the heart and not they physical realised that we are all equal in all aspects and we should not look down on anyone.

    If only they are much more educated.

    The entire neighbourhood or kampung of Teluk Kucai ought to be shamed for their ignorant behaviour.

    I do hope Allah will bless Anas and shows the Muslims of Teluk Kucai the right way to treat others - Insya Allah..

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  6. What a sad story. If anything Muslim converts shld be welcomed with open arms. Agree with cabincrew comment.. his so called fellow Muslims (that taunted Anas) is Muslim in name only. Yet again culture belief is stronger then their faith. Ignorance is certainly not bliss in this matter. What happened before he converted has nothing to do with his new religion. Ive known people who even after conversation had tatoos but these people live in big cities and surprisingly are condoned. Strange how the more advance we are in technology the more backwards are the minds. Im guessing those people who taunted him won't realise the error that they've made but will keep on blaming poor Anas for trying to take his own life. What a pity such a society exist!

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  7. Marahnya saya baca tentang sikap orang Melayu yang kadangkala terlalu NARROWMINDED when Rasul has said, not to let others run away from our beautiful deen! Terima kasih kerana post entry ini. I am from Singapore and the news came out today in the malay papers, kesian brother Anas!! Insha'Allah iman brother Anas akan lebih tetap lagi selepas this whole experience...

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  8. Assalamualaikum sister,

    It is sad that things like this can happen. I always think that Islam is not a blind religion based on what people say or tell you. It is based on knowledge.

    May Allah bless Anas and give him strength. May Allah show us the right path to walk on.

    Sometimes people forget that a Malay might not be a muslim and a muslim might not be a Malay. I have learned it the hard way. The love of Islam can only be seen when we try to get closer to Allah by knowledge.
    PS: My dad still cannot accept that Islam is not Malay and Malay is not Islam.

    Only do I learned this that I can accept Islam and recite the syahadah. We own it all to Allah to give us hidayah. Alhamdullilah.

    InsyaAllah the new generation will learn Islam not y blind faith but by knowledge. What happen cannot be undone, but we can at least learn something here.

    Anyway, Sis Aliya ur 'Jiu-Hu-Char' looks yummy. Wanted to eat Chinese food for sometime but cant.

    Regards,
    Ng Chee Hong

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  9. salam!! sedih .. tapi itulah kenyataannya orang melayu!! islam itu agama .. melayu itu bangsa saja. tapi nak buat camana ... memang "boloh!!" .. sudahlah "boloh", belajar tak mo pulak .. tahu sikit tapi berlagak cam pandai semua!! ishkKk geram dibuatnya ..

    Saya bleh bayangkan perasaan Anas dan juga lain2 muslim reverts .. sedangkan saya yg di adopt dari baby ni pun dicaci dicerca sampai ke tua .. pantang buat silap sikit mesti ada yg kata .. "hah!! tu lah dah mmg asal usulnya kafir dulu" macamlah yg lahir dr perut orang melayu tu perfect islamnya .. apa lagi lah yang masih pelat sebutan ALlah nya lagi teruklah kena sound.

    Saya doakan Anas diberikanNya kesabaran menghadapi dugaan .. semoga dia sentiasa didlm rahmat ALlah sentiasa.

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  10. Salam.

    People who are extreme and behaving with superiority (of religious matter) have always being the one with less understanding. These people are whom the basic principles are weak but have been interpreting the complex matter at their own expense witout proper thoughts. 'They only knew that is haram to have tattoo. So be it.' They just don't know that there is the health factor that they should consider. Islam actually promotes easiness and 'no harm' to its believers like jama' and qasar for musaffir and breaking fast if health does not permits.

    I've experiences facing these righteous people. Consideration is not an option.

    Islam is beautiful yet misunderstood. Islam is not about judging or punishing but guiding.

    I pray for the change to takes place in the near future. Let us guide not judge.

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  11. I totally agree with you. And the strange thing is , where is the Islamic scholars on this matter.? BY the way you have a good Blog and i like it. I always view your Blog and hope your Life will be full of bless by ALlah.

    My blog www.zahrein.com

    Wassalam

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  12. Assalamualaikum,
    mega,Ummu Layth, NuFaS & cabincrew,
    Really? Use getah buah macang muda to remove a tattoo? Hmm,all I know is sambal tempoyak macang, whoch is simply yummy!
    Yes, Ummu Layth, a real pity. The problem is, such people believe that what they said is right.
    Alhamdulillah, good to know that you're part of our family now. I always get irritated when people commented on my 'lack of Islamic knowledge' and am not hesitant to give them an earful.If a born-Muslim teenager still needs reminders to live like a good Muslim, don't expect reverts to be perfect Muslims overnight.
    Persepsi bukan Islam yang negatif berpunca terutamanya daripada kurang pergaulan antara pelbagai kaum dalam masyarakat. Lihat saja sekeliling kita - sekolah kebangsaan 90% melayu sekolah vernakular 99% bukan melayu, rumah kediaman pun sederet atau sekampung sesama bangsa sendiri saja, di kolej & universiti cari geng sama bangsa,kerja cari yang sama bangsa,jadi bila nak kenal? Islam untuk semua dan Islam satu-satunya yang dapat menyatukan kita. Sudah tiba masanya kita tanggalkan baju "saya bangsa apa" untuk mengenakan baju "saya orang Islam dan berkhidmat untuk Islam"

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  13. Waalaikumussalam Edz Lee,Rambler, kitsch & ahong
    Apparently they don't. Interestingly I'm yet to read reports about the villagers who taunted Anas apologise to him or even visited him at the hospital (that'd make a good story). Perhaps they did but it went unreported? Perhaps the local Islamic affairs personnel visited him too but it went unreported? Whatever happens, let's pray that Anas will have a more peaceful and happier life after that incidence. Thanks for sharing your story. Allah swt always rewards us for our patience.
    Rambler, such society exists because nobody has pointed out to them that they're wrong until recently. I've known people who seemed like pious Muslims but pointedly condemned another who under stress (can still remember what she said to me), tried to take his own life. Such (sad to say) Muslims have little compassion for others whereas Our beloved Prophet Muhammad was full of compassion for other Muslims and even the non Muslims. May Alah swt keep us from such hardening of our hearts and soul, nazubillah.
    kitsch, really? The news appeared in a Singaporean newspaper? InsyaAllah I hope so. Do you know that the revert who was once almost beaten to death by a group of Muslims and rescued in time by another, is now a respected Islamic scholar who has been awarded the Tokoh Maal Hijrah of Penang in 2004?

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  14. Ahong, mem-besr, jr, & black sparrow team,
    Not only your Dad but my educated brother too, who still thinks I've changed from Chinese to Malay overnight when I reverted to Islam, hehehe.Nver mind what people think, it's the truth of Islam that we believe and know in our hearts that matter most. There're many Chinese Muslim restaurants in the Klang valley but one or 2 in other states so I understand your missing of Chinese food. Syukur I have my own kitchen now (after 1 year of only Malay and Mamak food) and my husband can adapt to Chinese cuisine, so I'm "cooking with a vengeance", hehehe.
    Mem-besar, memang susah nak bertahan dalam masyarakat yang masih prejudis dalam beberapa perkara. Kita perlu bersyukur kiranya kita tidak bersikap seperti mereka, kerana itu tanda kasih sayangNya kepada kita bahwa kita diberi hidayah untuk melihat sesuatu mengikut acuan Islam yang sebenar.Hanya doa yang mampu mengubah qadak qadar seseorang hambaNya.
    jr, you are right. Changes is inevitable as the internet has become the new medium of communication and instruction. We might not be able to change the hardcore ones who will remain in their old ways unless reeducated by a respected Islamic scholar, but we can educate our children to be beyter Muslim. Also we can make a paradigm shift of opinions through proper and good sharing of information regarding Islam and its teaching, insyaAllah.
    Black sparrow team, thanks for visiting. I'm a crusader with a special mission, and unlike other male Muslim reverts who are freer to move about doing dakwah, as a wife and a Muslimah I prefer to do my part indirectly in cyber space :)

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  15. Assalamualaikum

    some of the reason why malays were behaving like this due to the fach that the lack of knowledge culture. most malays are very lazy in learning. they really hate the process of leaning. you can see among your student kak Aliya, who's the most problematic? i'll bet they were malays.

    i never encounter the proverb similar to 'bodoh sombong' in other languages. its so malay.

    my family suffer the same ordeal, being the fact my father was an indian and my mother is chinese. we are Muslims allright. but to them this doesn't count.

    kak Aliya this is my blog

    http://darattanahputih.blogspot.com

    Wasalam

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  16. slm...thanks kak liya...
    teenage reverts like me really need support since we're still not financially independent by ourselves and i'm currently under JPA scholarship, now in my 2nd semester doing A-Levels and as you can see, my dad is my "penjamin". My problem is that, i'm not afraid of how my parents might react if they knew about me reverting, but i'm afraid that my dad would do something dramatic like not being my penjamin anymore. That way, i won't be able to further my study to India in Dental Study as written in JPA contract because i don't have anyone to bail me. But for now, i don't want to burden myself with these thoughts as i can discuss this matter later with the JPA officers. For your info, my parents are Catholics. Right now, i'm focussing to increase my faith and mind strength day by day to endure the challenges that seems to be constantly getting at me recently. That's all. wslm.

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  17. Waalaikumussalam azlan & NuFaS,
    I don't think Malays are lazy but it's mostly about attitude. My Malay students expect government aid to continue thorughout their lives so they're quite easy-going,while my Indian & Chinese students want to further studies in IPT or work after SPM so they're careful not to create problems in school.
    If we want to be succesful Muslims we should be proactive, not reactive like others.Who cares about what other people think as long as we're true to Islam & its teaching? Be glad for the challenges because they'll only mould you to be stronger in faith and tougher in person, insyaAllah.

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  18. NuFaS,
    I pray that Alah swt will make your journey smooth and easy, insyaAllah. I'd suggest that you discuss this with your tutor or counselor who might be able to get you another penjamin, just in case.Don't worry too much about it because as a mualaf, your case should be given a special consideration. If you can't work it out by the time your father decides to withdraw his guarantee, contact me. We'll knock on every door for a new penjamin until the office of Tun Mahathir (PERKIM)if we have to.And I'm not joking.

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  19. i'm very happy to read all these comments and to know that there are a lot of people that really working hard to seek for the truth..as for me, my father is a chinese but heis a muslim since he was born..Alhamdulillah for that..but u know, most people like me that 'inherit' the religion usually appreciate it less..

    i have friends that are reverts too and i'm very jealous to see that their 'level' are much higher than me..but Alhamdulillah i was sent to religious school and have friends (eventhough not all) that are really into islam..

    just want to tell all the reverts, you guys are usually much more better than us..dont feel negelected and just voice out ur thoughts and needs coz there are many people that care about you guys..

    eventhough rite now i'm just a student, but i would gladly help if there's anything i can do..

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  20. Salam..I'm a stranger, blog passer-by.I just wanna give my input hehe Sorry I know this is an old entry though But I just had to say something..even though I'm not Malaysian :P

    From your entry, there is the part," Why are reverts often scrutinised and any imperfections are pointed out with contempt? For example, their lack of proper etiquette (meaning only Malay etiquette laa), complaints of them being rude (again meaning only follow Malay way of speaking laa), their lack of proper aurat-covered dressing ( heck, you expect tudung and aurat covered dresses to fall from the sky within hours after reciting the syahadah?) and their lack of initiative to attend Islamic classes (not all reverts have vehicles, so provide free transportations/carpool services laa, cakap pandai ajer)."

    There is the Quranic verse 256, Al Baqarah :
    "Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error.."

    And Al Hujurat, Verse 10:

    "O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other.."

    (NOR BE SARCASTIC TO EACH OTHER)

    People should remember the Quranic teachings when they encounter new brothers/sisters in Islam. There is no compulsion in religion; Muslims have the duties of guiding, helping Muslim reverts - neither forcing them nor be sarcastic to them.

    Muslims have to understand globalization.. They have to be on guard with their actions.. Picture non-Muslims thinking that Islam is closed and not applicable for all races.. That's WRONG. Islam has covered most of the aspects with depth already, it's just that some people misinterpret or couldn't be bothered to study Islam with depth.

    Not everyone has the same background and same past experiences..Not everyone lived like a Malay...For example,not everyone gets a social support system easily after becoming Muslim.. The world is not just for Malays only.. A Muslim has to use HIS/HER BRAIN and ask Allah for guidance when it comes to judging another person. How do they expect to attract people to Islam if they don't?

    One person might not be able to immediately make changes in his/her personal lifestyle as fast as another person..

    Not only reverts. Even born Muslim themselves need time to change. I myself am a Malay Muslim.. I don't wear headscarf (I don't cover my head when I go out). Hmm I know I might get attacked/ my comment might not be taken seriously by others because of this. It's quick for some to judge. Tapi peduli apa kalau orang kn cemuhkan aku..I have reasons, and Allah knows the inner me better than anyone else. It's just that long ago (I would call it my 'jahiliyah' days lol) I am used to a lifestyle of which appearance is top priority. So, in my present life, I want to betulkan my niat and akhlak first before wearing the headscarf.. That is just my personal mentality, because I know myself - not everyone has the same mentality as me and that's fine..

    But I don't think it means someone should call me a hypocrite and be sarcastic, because I believe that in Islam, PEACE IS A PRIORITY.. Yes, people have the right to tegur me and say,' you should cover your head' (God will bless them for sincerely caring about the Islamic welfare) but in today's world, they neither have the right to FORCE me nor be sarcastic with me/exclude me.

    As for me, insya Allah, it takes me time to really change. It's not easy, it's been hard.

    I think Muslims should be more open-minded and understanding la.. Remember that in Islam, we have to be kind and sincere..Remember that everyone is designed differently, everyone has different experiences and outlook..

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  21. Sahih Bukhari translated;

    "Narated By 'Abdullah bin 'Umar : Allah's Apostle said, "A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim. So he should neither oppress him nor hand him over to an oppressor. And whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs.'

    Narated By Anas : Allah's Apostle said, "Help your brother whether he is an oppressor or an oppressed," A man said, "O Allah's Apostle! I will help him if he is oppressed, but if he is an oppressor, how shall I help him?" The Prophet said, "By preventing him from oppressing (others), for that is how to help him."

    Indahnya Islam..

    Hence, in Islam, peace and kindness towards other are top priority.. && Muslims should be smart, well-versed enough so that they can attract people to Islam, not repel people from Islam.. When I say 'open-minded', I don't mean being open minded enough to follow all the non Islamic influences that come to you..What I mean is being open-minded enough to recognize what it means to live in a society, or understanding the welfare of others in this world.

    What matters most is the intention in the heart. Allah knows which heart is truest to Him.

    For example, even if there's a person who's a Muslim for 30-40 years, but if he/she is not that sincere to God and he/she sins a lot to others, what's the use? It doesn't matter how long you've been a Muslim, what matters more is your heart.

    Okay, my comment is long hehe

    I am very sorry if my comment has caused more tension or disturbance than being helpful. I am not someone arif whatsoever, I am just someone who's also currently learning. As His servant, I don't have the hak to directly/indirectly say and show as if I am a better Muslim than anyone else. But I can comment which is befitting for the sake of God.

    Hehe x) Good blog, I do read your blog :P Sorry for posting such a long comment. Had to say it all out.

    Okay then ^_^

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  22. Waalaikumussalam Izzati,
    It doesn't matter whether one's a Malaysian or not; what counts is his or her compassion for another human being.
    It's so easy to find faults with others because we have been trained to do that since young. We listen to our elders criticising another. We feel uncomfortable the moment we see a dirty mark on a white piece of paper, focusing on that dirt and forgetting that the other parts are still clean. So, we tend to see faults more easily than to search for beauty. It's so easy to say this and that is haram and wrong, perhaps to show that we are knowledgeable or to correct the 'ignorant and lost' ones. It's due to our upbringing and our cultures [some worse than others].
    I know because when I started putting on the hijab, I had a tough time controlling my mind from automatically condemning others who are freehair the moment I saw them. I do have Muslimah friends who are not in tudung yet, you know. It's not easy but as I said, remembering that Rasulullah saw was kind and patient to others helps my heart to accept these friends as they are and not to judge. Yet do remember that being a Muslim and by reciting the kalimah syahadah, we are bearing a very heavy responsibility [will talk about this later]
    I think what you mean is empathy and compassion for others. Empathy is being able to put yourself in that person's shoes, to understand what he/she feels and needs. Compassion is being loving and kind to others, especially those who are in need. These are two of the admirable qualities of Rasulullah saw and insyaAllah if we emulate him,Allah saw will be pleased with us, and the world will be a better place.

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  23. Yes, sis..at some point, I was trying to get the message across that having compassion, empathy (like you said) are important... Those qualities are what people generally need when guiding or 'tegur'ing others..So that their hearts will soften and open even wider to Islam..

    Rasulullah s.a.w is the best example :) Peace be upon him

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  24. Salam.

    It's a sad sad thing that this kinda of things happened. I mean, obviously, it shows a really bad example of Muslims. Sigh.

    Actually, I was googling for Muallaf with tattoo & found your article. I 100% with you.

    I've a boyfriend, that's willing to convert, together with his family approval to convert as well. He has a very great & supportive family. Though the problem is now, he's so keen in getting tattoos. And he's planning to get another one on his arm. I already tried many time to talk him out, but he says, even his parents allow him, so I just went silent.

    My dad is pretty conservative, I'm so worried my dad won't approve him in the future if he sees that he actually has tattoos :(

    We talked about it, he told me that I should think of him too, for him to let go his religion that he was born with, which will not be easy! And I agreed.

    But since, muallaf sins will all be forgiven once they recite Kalimah Syahadah, I guess whatever he does as a non-Muslim now, wouldn't matter in the future, would it?

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  25. Waalaikumussalam fazrina,
    I wish all the best with your present beau, may he be given the hidayah and strength to go on and really revert.
    Well, technically yes, all his sins will be forgievn once he recited the syahadah. But IMHO, that doesn't give him the license to do as he likes with the excuse that he'd be granted forgiveness. Perhaps you could talk to him about the health risks involved, and how difficult it'd be should he decide to erase them later. Men don't like to be told they could be wrong, so if he refuses to listen, that's his choice, and all we could do is to pray for him.

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  26. if anyone wants to help is dawah use http://www.MuslimsIn.com

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