Saturday, May 29


I'm writing from my friend's house. She's the co-wife of an ustaz whom I mentioned in a previous post. Alhamdulillah, life's been good here since baby and I arrived. And indeed, it's a really harmonious family although both the wives are staying in the same house with the children. So baby Ikram has the attention of three loving mothers and four children. :)
It's been a great joy watching my baby grow although breastfeeding and night nursing are rather tiring. The nurse came over today for house visits and was surprised to see me greeting her at the door.
"Gosh, you don't look like a woman in confinement! So active!" she declared. [just how does a woman in confinement is supposed to look anyway?]
Alhamdulillah for Allah's blessings. I feel really fine although am keeping a constant watch on my blood pressure. The doctor has stopped my medication and asked the nurse to daily a daily reading on home visits for 2 weeks. Other than a slight discomfort when I lie on my back or lie sideways, I'm active, more than during my last month of pregnancy. I'm really really grateful for the strength and health He's given me.
Yes, I've been active since the 2nd day at the hospital when I was left to take care of baby Ikram in the hospital. the hospital practices rooming-in and all mothers have to breatsfeed and take care of baby on their own at the hospital. I managed it although it was 4am when I slept, hehehe.
Today is the 6th day since I delivered Ikram and both of us are doing fine, although Ikram is having a light jaundice. We'd be going to the clinic for his reading tomorrow and I really hope that he'd be ok soon.
Being a mother at the great age of 39 means that I've more life experiences than younger mothers. I may not be as strong or as active as younger mothers but insyaAllah that can be compensated with more patience and knowledge.
Both husband and I have a vision for our child which may surprise many. Let that vision be a secret for now but insyaAllah, we pray that it will be a reality in the future, when he grows up. Somebody who is a better Muslim than his parents and does more for Islamic dakwah, insyaAllah. and to achieve that vision, it'd have to start from day 1 when he's born. Alhamdulillah, Ikram seems to show a great potential :)
He's currently learning to be patient and hardworking, hahaa..
And as for me, well... I'd have to be a better Muslimah too, in order to guide him. Lead by example. Show and guide, not just preach and teach. Ikram is going to be a multi-linguist, insyaAllah. Husband has already reminded me to learn how the great Islamic scholars are brought up. I'm planning to combine that with the good qualities of both Chinese and Malay upbringing.

My luck seems to change for the better. I've just got news of my transfer to a school nearer to home. So I'd be teaching in a new environment right after my confinement leave [sometime in July]. My current batch of students are going to be disappointed with the news but it'd be a relief for me, as I'd no longer have to battle the early morning traffic to rush to the school 45 minutes away from home. Besides that, I still have to return to the hospital for checkups on the anterior fibroid which is still in my uterus. Hopefully it'd shrink to nothing so that Ikram can have a brother or sister, insyaAllah. So getting the transfer is really a blessing.

Also today I did something which I had postponed doing for a few years.
Followers of this blog might notice that I seldom mentioned my father. Yes, he's still alive but separated from my mother and brother. And because he was so angry that I refused to listen and remained married to my ex, he hadn't spoken a word to me since my divorce in 2006. He even said on the phone that he'd disown me if I insisted on the divorce. Even when I went home after my divorce and still a nonMuslim, he refused to speak to me. I chose to be silent because I didn't want to risk being beaten for saying the wrong words.

Yet Islam instructs us to be respectful to our elders, even when they are no longer of the same faith as us Muslims. I've been contemplating this issue for some time, especially as there've been a lot of friction in the family since I left home after reversion to Islam. My mum finally did something for herself which she had postponed doing for a long time.

This morning, based on my instinct, I phoned my grandmother whom I haven't met for 3 years [yes, she's alive and is 88 years old] to tell her the good news of her great-grandson's birth. I had postponed the meeting because I know her very well, and want the first meeting after my conversion to Islam, to be a happy occasion, not to get her naggings and disapproval, huhu. And gosh, the grand old lady can really nag! Of course, I called her once in a while, and she has also spoken to my husband on the phone. But my pregnancy and delivery was a big secret.
So Ikram's birth is going to be turning-point especially as he's her only great-grandson after 2 great-granddaughters [Chinese prefers sons].
And my father spoke to me on phone too. Actually, it was me doing the talking and he was going "ohh.. ahhh... ok.." I must have caught him by surprise, the news of the birth, the phone call, etc.
My father is a proud man, who likes to make jokes about the Muslims rituals and beliefs although he has many Malay friends and associates. So it was a blow to him when I reverted to Islam and 'dishonours' the family [in other words, him].
Grandma congratulated me and reminded me to bring husband and baby for her to see after my confinement.
And as Mum and brother are now not on speaking terms to her and my father, guess it's going to have to be a pre-condtioned meeting [no talking about the other party, huhu].
Well, looks like I'd have to add another entry into my post-confinement calender :)

Thursday, May 27


Thanks for all you prayers and good wishes.
Syukur alhamdulillah. After a tough time at the operating theatre [the spinal
bius' didn't work on me] and finally deciding to opt for a full anesthesia, I finally delivered a baby boy on 24 may 2010 at Hospital Seberang Jaya.
I lost about 1000cc of blood but alhamdulillah due to my hemoglobin level of 11.0, I was alert and wheeled into the ward at 7.30pm.
Baby was pronounced healthy.
And yesterday, we returned home. Thank Allah for sending us some helping hands in the form of Kak Melur, Kak Shanaz [my neighbours], Kak Siti and her daugher [blog reader] who visited me as I was being discharged. They helped to carry the things back to the car. A big thank you!
We haven't made a finl decision on his name.
So in the meantiem while his Abah decides on a suitable name we'll calling him Ikram.

Sorry I can't write much this time. Very busy managing him and myself.
Also trying to breastfeed him as much as possible [am having some problem with it] and expressing my milk.
Alhamdulillah for husband's help and support at this crucial time.
Both the grandmas are happy and have visited him.
This boy is quite something, with a strong personality.
Will have to learn o manage him well and not let him take over, huhu.

Note: Sorry, afraid this picture will have to do till I download from the camera. This was taken on the 2nd day at the hospital.

Saturday, May 22


Assalamualaikum everyone,

This will be my last post until I return from the Hospital SJ with baby, insyaAllah. My due date is actually another 2 weeks more but as I'm in the high risk group, they've decided to do it earlier. The gynecologist wants me in the ward tomorrow morning, and the C section is due the next day. Husband is going to be very busy next week, hahaha.

It's been a great pleasure knowing so many people through this blog. Thanks for your comments here, and for sharing your own ideas and thoughts. Needless to say, I've learnt a lot from you too.

Please forgive me if during the course of my writings, I have unintentionally cause hurt or anger among you readers. I pray that I'd be able to see you all again soon after delivering my first-born baby. Hopefully everything will go smoothly as planned, and both baby and I would be fine and healthy enough to leave for home as scheduled.

And if He wills it that I'm to leave this world, I am ready for Him. Of course, I hope He will be merciful and allow me to mother my baby, and to continue blogging. However, if my time's up, I'd just like to say that it's been a great pleasure to know you all through this blog. It's amazing how a blog which had initially started as a logbook of my journey to Islam (for my husband) has evolved into what it is today. Alhamdulillah for His blessings and guidance.

Till we meet again, may He bless you all and keep you strong in iman, insyaAllah.

Friday, May 21


Dear Aliya,

I'm writing in to share my own bad experience with your readers. I'm shocked to learn that gambling will be allowed in Malaysia and be made legal during the World Cup season. Gosh, how can it come this? I thought that gambling is forbidden in Islam.

As an ex-wife of a habitual gambler, I know only too well what it's like to live under the same roof with somebody who gambles. My ex-husband not rich. He government servant but most of his friends were businessmen. From them, he picked up bad habits - smoking and gambling. They made huge bets on horse racing. Unlike his friends who can fall back on their businesses when they lost money, my ex had only his monthly salary to survive.

Soon he was always short of money. I hated the weekend because he would borrow my money for gambling. When I refused to lend him, he shouted at me. He forced me to lend him, even $10 was fine. He bought the newspaper just to get the timetable and schedule of the horse races. Then he would leave the house to be with his friends at the coffee shop, listening to the news about the races and return home only for his dinner at night. I have to spend my own money on the household, he never helped even a sen. I never knew when he won because he never gave me any money or pay back his debts.

He even lied to me. I had a car, which I bought and had finished paying for with my own salary. Without my knowledge, he traded that car to pay for his gambling debts. He told me that he had sold the car. He got another car, this one in his own name but I was still forced to pay for it because I drove it to work. When I asked him money for the old car, he kept giving excuses. Finally after all the documents were signed and the car officially sold, he told me the truth. He did not get a sen from the car sale because he owed the new owner money. I was furious but it was too late. I had to suffer for his gambling habit.

He never learned his lessons but continued gambling. For years, he never spent any money for the household, repairs, bills or food. He bought many things for himself when he won some money but he never returned any of my money to me. His mother knew about his gambling but she blamed me for not stopping him. When I refused to give him any more money, he stole my jewellery and pawned them. Then he blamed me when I scolded him, saying that as a wife, I should have supported him. He did not take any responsibility for his actions but blame me for not helping him. It was always me who was wrong, never him.

I got fed-up with his gambling. He didn't want to stop. I no longer feel his love. The marriage was empty. I did not want to continue paying his debts. There were days when I cried because I was left with only $10 to survive for another 2 weeks before the next pay day. I did not want to suffer for the rest of my life living with an irresponsible gambler. So I left him. I wanted a divorce. He accused me of having an affair and refused to cooperate. He blamed my family for encouraging me to divorce. So I threatened to expose his problems to his boss, and that made him sign the forms. I told him that I want the divorce because I could not trust him anymore. I borrowed money from my family to pay for the divorce.

I did not get a sen from the divorce. I did not get anything from the marriage except heartache and material loss. He refused to pay alimony. He also refused to return my jewellery he had pawned. The day I left the house, I cursed him for his evil ways, for his lies and not returning what belonged to me. I was glad that we had no children to follow his bad ways, because we had stopped sleeping together after I discovered his lies about the car.

Now I am happy. I have learned to survive on my own. I may be poorer now but I still have my dignity, my job and my family. I no longer need the things he still owe me but I will not forgive him until he say sorry. I know that he has found another woman he has managed to trick to be his new wife. Now she is the one suffering. He is also in bad health due to his smoking.

I hope that no other wife or family will have to suffer for the husband's or son's gambling habit. Gambling is evil. It break down families. A gambler will never stop gambling once he taste the joy of some winning. My ex gambled on horse racing, which was about a few hundreds a bet. What about football betting? It might come to thousands of dollars a game. And if the gambler cant pay, who will end up the victims? His family, his wife, his children.

Please tell your friends not to gamble or trust a gambler.
I was a fool but now I have learned my lesson well - after losing my car, my jewellery, my money and my house.

Nobody should be made to suffer the bad gambling habits of another family member. Gambling should be banned or stopped, not encouraged.



Wednesday, May 19


Well, I'm still pregnant and walking about like a penguin, hehehee...
People have been asking when I'd be having the baby.
It won't be long from now.
The baby seems to be excited too, and enjoying his last week inside.
Alhamdulillah my medical routine checkups at the clinic show no sign of problems.
All the nurses commented on the thickness of the 'little red Pregnant Mother's book' .
My bags are almost ready [kept packing and unpacking, checking and rechecking, huhu].
The house is still topsy-turvy but I'm shutting an eye, hahaha. Husband will have to clear up the rest of the mess before the guests arrive.
Everything is ready except one important detail, sigh.

We still haven't found a female companion for me and baby during confinement.
Still nobody to help take care of the baby, cook, and keep an eye on my health until I regain my strength after the C section.
In other words, a live-in Muslimah companion.
We've asked more than 50 people.
Unlike Chinese confinement ladies, Malays don't want to stay for the nights.
Both the grannies are too old and feeble to take the responsibility.
Can't rely on husband, as he'd be out of town on official duties during my confinement.
I dare not take in a unknown foreigner. Besides, don't plan to have a live-in maid when I'm back to work.
We're still hoping and praying that the right lady will turn up soon.
Otherwise,we'd have to resort to the contingency plan, which might cause certain inconveniences.

I'd be going to the hospital this weekend, if not earlier.
InsyaAllah the delivery will be next week.
Finally, I'm in my final 9th month, hehehe... I'm trying to be cool about it :P

Saturday, May 15


Syukur alhamdulillah. Today my wish to have authentic Chinese Muslim food was granted. And not only that, husband and I had the great opportunity to have a rather long chat with the taukeh himself.
"Where shall we go? Bertam or Kulim?" asked my husband, trying to please this heavily pregnant wife of his who was having cravings for Chinese noodles, and who's been saying, "Can't eat as I like during pantang later!" hehehe.
So we finally decided to go to Kulim, remembering that there's a Chinese Muslim kopitiam there.

And there stood Kopitiam Puteri Hang Li Poh, a corner shop opposite the SMK Bestari, in Kulim.
It's also known as the MACMA kopitiam by locals.
I was there for the first time, as many previous trips had to be cancelled due to various reasons I could no longer remember.
Parking was not a problem.
The choice of food?
Not bad.
There're dim sum [out of stock by the time we arrived in the evening], chinese cuisine, steamboat, and also western dishes.

We were greeted by Hj Ibrahim Tan, a Muslim revert and the owner of the kopitiam.

As we were the only customers there at that time, we chatted with Hj Ibrahim, who revealed that he embraced Islam in Arab Saudi many years ago. His wife, also a Chinese Muslim, arrived later but was busy in the kitchen. Customers had begun to arrive in groups for dinner.

I ordered a bowl of the kopitiam's signature dish, and also my favourite Chinese noodles recipe - Penang Hokkien Prawn Mee.
Husband had a bowl of Wantan Soup Noodles with Wantan [his first bowl, hehehe]
Sorry la... I was too hungry and forgot to snap a photo of the food.
MY QC marks? Hokkien Mee scored 9 /10 for its deliciousness and authenticity, and the Wantee Mee 8/10.
The prices are reasonable, considering the large amount of noodles in each bowl.
Anyway you may check here for some pictures of the food. [It's in Chinese]

Hj Ibrahim told us that the kopitiam serves two purposes; one for Islamic dakwah and another to serve good Chinese Muslim food.
Indeed, I was impressed. On each table was a transparent photo frame which bears the number of the table, and printed stories from the hadith. You may read the stories while waiting for the food.

At a corner of the kopitiam were two bookshelves with English reading materials on Islam. You may read them while having your meals or borrow them. We were told by Hj Ibrahim that he receives the materials from his contacts in Saudi Arabia. Subhanallah!

For those who live in Kedah and would like to visit the Kopitiam, better go there before the last week of May because it's going to be shifted to a new location in Perai.
It's opened daily from 11am until 10pm, with a break for Friday prayers.
It's closed on Monday.

The new Kopitiam Puteri Hang Li Poh will be officially opened on the 16th of June 2010, on the 2nd floor of Pacific MegaMall, Perai, Penang [behind Popular Bookstore].
It is hoped that the food business would be better in Pacific Megamall, as well as promoting reading of Islamic materials for shoppers who drop in for their meals.
For further information, you may contact Hj Ibrahim 019-4816492 [he speaks Malay, English, Chinese and some Arabic]

note: Took the pics with my handphone, so pardon for the poor quality images.

Friday, May 14


Jangan terkejut wahai ibu bapa jikalau menerima panggilan telefon dari sekolah anak.
Cuma selalulah berdoa agar tidak akan menerima panggilan kecemasan itu.
Panggila dari sekolah anak-anak tuan puan bukanlah panggilan untuk berkenalan. Bukan panggilan jemputan ke kenduri.
Besar kemungkinan anda tidak akan lalu makan berhari-hari selepas menerima panggilan dari pihak sekolah.

Jangan terkejut jika buat pertama kalinya anda melalukan spotcheck di dalam bilik anak remaja anda.
Buka beg sekolahnya. Buka laci mejanya. Buka almari bajunya. Tinjau bahan yang ada dalam komputer anak.
Lakukan spotcheck secara spontan, walaupun dia tiada di rumah pada ketika itu.
Jangan lupa lihat dalam thumbdrive anak-anak anda.
Jangan fikir bahawa hanya anak lelaki remaja yang akan menimbulkan masalah. Pada zaman sekarang, anak perempuan pun tidak kurang rasa ingin tahu dan ingin mencuba mereka, malah merekalah yang akan banyak rugi jikalau sesuatu yang buruk berlaku ke atas mereka.
Lebih baik anda dituduh sebagai ibu bapa yang tidak demokratik daripada dipanggil oleh guru anak anda kerana timbulnya kes berat di sekolah.

Kenali rakan-rakan anak anda; siapa mereka dan siapa ibu bapa mereka.
Itu akan memudahkan anda untuk mencari anak sekiranya dia masih belum pulang ke rumah selepas tengah malam atau telah menghilangkan diri tanpa berita.
Awasi anak selepas waktu malam. Bawalah kunci rumah dan kunci kenderaan anda ke dalam bilik tidur bersama anda supaya dia tidak dapat mencuri-curi keluar umah tanpa pengetahuan anda.
Awasi anak anda yang kelihatan mengantuk pada waktu pagi. Dia berkemungkinan berjaga malam dan bergayut di telefon dengan awek/pakwe barunya, atau bermain video game/computer game sepanjang malam.

Jangan terhantuk baru terngadah.
Bermulalah dari awal, berikanlah didikan agama dan asuhan yang sebaiknya.
Jiwa remaja yang ingin mencuba, pengaruh negatif kawan serta pergaulan yang tidak sihat dengan remaja berlainan jantina boleh menimbulkan masalah yang tidak diingini.

Jangan yakin 100% dengan anak anda.
Jangan fikir anak yang kelihatan baik di rumah, yang rajin di rumah adalah remaja yang terbaik di luar rumah. Tanyalah jiran yang melihat, tanyalah guru-gurunya di sekolah untuk mendapat gambaran yang jelas.
Jangan tunggu sehingga anak anda belajar di sekolah menengah. Mulakanlah ketika dia masih berumur 9 tahun. Sudah banyak peristiwa dan kisah benar yang melibatkan kanak-kanak dan remaja 9 tahun ke atas. Anak-anak berkemungkinan bukan sahaja belajar tentang seks, bahkan mengekperimennya tanpa pengetahuan anda. Jangan terkejut.

Kadang-kala ibu bapa hanya melihat yang baik pada anak mereka saja.
Jangan fikir anak perempuan yang bertudung litup dan menutup aurat itu tidak akan berminat dengan remaja lelaki.
Sebenarnya banyak peluang untuk anak-anak remaja zaman sekarang bertindak liar dan di luar batasan agama.
Pergi sekolah dengan kenderaan sendiri - motosikal atau basikal. Ada yang menumpang bas awam.
Kelas tambahan pada waktu petang. Pergi sendiri, balik sendiri.
Kemudahan internet di rumah dan di kedai komputer. Boleh download macam-macam, antara mahu dengan tidak mahu.
Sekolah terdiri daripada pelajar lelaki dan perempuan. Pergerakan pelajar yang bebas di sekolah boleh mengundang masalah jika terlalu banyak bangunan dan bilik kosong. Ingat, guru bukan pengasuh anak remaja anda.

Apa yang mampu dibuat oleh ibu bapa?
Banyakkan berdoa untuk anak-anak, dan sentiasalah awasi pergerakan serta pergaulan mereka. Semoga mereka selamat di dunia dan di akhirat.

Tuesday, May 11



Betrayed by the very system he swore to protect…

Wrongfully accused… Maliciously prosecuted…

Convicted with extreme prejudice…

Tortured… Humiliated… Tarnished…

Listen to his harrowing testimony … for the first time in Penang

A public talk by

Captain James J. Yee (former US Army Chaplain)

Venue: Caring Society Complex, Jalan Utama, 10460 Penang

Date & Time: Wednesday, 19 May 2010 at 8pm

Organised by IPSI in collaboration with USM

All are Welcome.

Free Entrance & Parking.

Audio-visual materials will be on sale.

Saturday, May 8


Alhamdulillah malam tadi saya berkesempatan berkunjung ke rumah seorang kawan baru. Jauh juga rumahnya dari rumah saya. Dia juga revert tetapi lebih awal memeluk Islam daripada saya.
Kisahnya memeluk Islam juga menarik. Banyak dugaan yang dihadapinya.
Pada awalnya saya sudah bersepakat dengan suami [yang jadi pemandu menghantar kerana isteri ni sudah kebas jari tangan dan kaki pada petang hari] akan berada di rumahnya hanya 30 minit tetapi sembang punya sembang, sedar-sedar sudah hampir sejam.
Itulah kata orang, ada jodoh.. hehehe.

Sepatutnya saya ke rumahnya lebih awal lagi tetapi kerana komitmen lain dan kesibukan kerja, akhirnya saya dan suami bersetuju untuk ke situ juga sebelum saya bersalin melahirkan anak [tak lama lagi oooo].
Syukur, dia pun dapat meluangkan masa untuk bertemu dan melayani saya pada malam tadi.

Ada sesuatu yang menarik di rumahnya.
Saya diperkenalkan kepada 'adiknya', yang turut duduk bersembang sekali. Kami bertiga.
Ahhh, rupa-rupanya dia bukan adik kandungnya. Bukan adik tiri. Juga bukan adik ipar.
Sebenarnya, 'adik' itu merupakan isteri kedua suaminya. Mereka tinggal serumah, berlainan bilik tidur. Segala urusan rumahtangga dan anak-anak diuruskan bersama-sama.
Seronok pula melihat keadaan mereka yang mesra dan selesa. Yang pertama kelihatan 'cool' dan sabar, yang kedua pula ceria dan selalu tersenyum.
Saya pula yang bergelar kakak kepada mereka berdua, kerana faktor umur saya yang lebih lanjut.

Banyak juga cabaran yang dihadapi mereka dalam perkahwinan.
Bukan kerana faktor hati masing-masing [alhamdulillah mereka ok] tetapi masalah orang luar, yang berasa pelik bagaimana kedua-dua isteri boleh tinggal serumah dan berbaik-baik. Mulut orang susah nak dikawal, tambahan mereka tinggal di kawasan perkampungan orang Melayu. Segala tindak tanduk mereka menjadi perhatian.
Mungkin ada yang tertanya-tanya, ilmu apa yang digunakan?

Bagi saya, rahsianya mudah sahaja.
Tak perlu ilmu khas, tetapi kebersihan hati dan kekuatan agama yang membantu mereka. Berpegang pada ajaran agama Islam yang sebenar.
Awasi penyakit hati, dan tidak mudah terpengaruh dengan kata-kata negatif serta hasutan pihak luar. Sifat empati dan kasih sayang amat penting dalam hal perkongsian begini.
Berpegang pada hadis yang bermaksud, “Tidak beriman salah seorang dari kamu sekalian, sehingga ia mencintai untuk saudaranya apa yang ia cintai untuk dirinya.” (Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

Kata salah seorang isteri, "Hari ini kami berdua ok, tetapi tak tahu lagi apa yang akan berlaku pada masa depan."
Jangan risaukan masa depan sendiri dan hubungan dengan isteri yang lain serta suami tercinta. Kalau ada pihak yang tidak boleh terima keadaan rumahtangga yang istimewa itu, itu masalah mereka. Bukan untuk dirisaukan atau untuk rasa susah hati. Yang boelh dilakukan hanyalah doa dan tunjukkan akhlak yang baik, mudah-mudahan lambat laun mereka boleh terima dan berubah. Kalau tak juga, itu bukan lagi urusan kita tetapi urusan mereka yang enggan berubah itu dengan Allah. Hanya Allah yang boleh mengubah keadaan hati seseorang.
Oleh itu, suami serta isteri-isteri perlu jaga hubungan diri dengan Allah swt, kerana Dialah jua yang akan menentukan masa depan umatNya dan rumahtangga mereka.

Saya mendoakan agar rumah tangga kedua-dua mereka itu kekal bahagia dan dirahmati Allah swt, serta hubungan persuadaraan di antara isteri-isteri itu lebih baik dan mesra hendaknya, ameen.

Wednesday, May 5


I was driving when suddenly... Vrrrrrrrrooooooooooooommmmm!!! the motorcyle appeared from the back of the car behind mine and overtook me. A glance revealed that the motorcylist was a teenager in his school uniform.
At the school gate, I noticed that there were several rows of motorcycles parked outside the school compound. Hmmm... strange.
A notice was put up at the gate. It read, 'Only motorcycles with the school sticker issued by the discipline teacher are allowed to be parked inside the school compound. To get the sticker, please show your driving licence and your parents' letter of permission to ride a motorcycle to the discipline teacher.'
Ahhh... so that's the reasons for the large number of motorcycles outside the gate.
God only knows how many of those riders who go to school on the motorcycles every day, actually own a licence.

Oh, I worry each time I drive on the road.
You'd never know when you'd meet an inexperienced,unlicensed motorist or someone whose vehicle insurance has expired. What will happen if he/she were to knock into your vehicle due to his/her own carelessness? Or worse still, knock you down when you're crossing the road? Who's going to pay for the damages?

My mother, who had years of experience as a nurse in the hospital's operating theatre, banned my brother and I from riding a motorcyle. Reason? Too dangerous. Too many motorcyclists have died or are handicapped due to road accidents.
She forced us to promise. We're not even allowed to sit on the motorcycle. Riding pillion was forbidden unless it's for a really desperate reason eg missed the school bus, or being late for school activities.
As a result, I still don't know how to to ride a motorcycle. I don't think my brother knows either.
If we want to go anywhere, we're told to cycle, take the bus, walk or wait until we're old enough to get a car driving licence.

So when I see youngsters riding their motorcyles recklessly, without safety helmets, and doing stunts on the road, I worry.
I worry that they might knock into my car.
I worry that they might crash and have me run over them.
I worry that they might lose control of the vehicle and knock down a pedestrian.
I worry that they might be my students.
For I don't know for sure if they actually own a driving licence.
I'm not sure if they're above 16, the minimum age allowed to ride a motorcycle.
I can't be certain that the motorcycle that they ride are actually theirs [and not a stolen one they took for a joyride]
Gosh, don't even get me started about unlicenced youngsters driving cars on the road.

Please... let not another mother cry in sadness this Mother's Day.

Saturday, May 1


Semalam ada sesi soal-jawab selepas ceramah. Antara soalan yang dikemukakan kepada saya adalah:
1. Apakah ekspektasi/ harapan saudara baru?
2. Bagaimana membuang persepsi masuk Islam = masuk Melayu
3. Bagaimana terangkan istilah kafir kepada bukan Islam
4. Bagaimana orang Islam boleh bantu saudara baru?

Hmmm.. kalau anda di tempat saya, apakah agaknya jawapan yang diberikan?
Kata suami yang turut berada di situ, "Ok lah, tetapi masih boleh diperelokkan lagi."
InsyaAllah, nanti saya sambung pos ini dengan jawapan spontan saya pada malam itu, dan diperhalusi dengan penambahan maklumat selanjutnya di sini [buat para audien semalam yang meninjau ke blog ini, hehe].

Sekarang dah letih, baru pulang ke rumah dengan katil yang masih perlu dipasang semula, alhamdulillah... yeahhhh :D

Kalau tak silap saya, inilah jawapan spontan saya berikan semasa ceramah tempoh hari [ada sedikit penambahan]:
1. Apakah ekspektasi/ harapan saudara baru?
  • Kami berharap agar dapat diterima sebagai saudara seagama. Terima seadanya, tapi jangan terlalu mendesak kami agar cepat berubah menjadi Muslim sejati dan jangan letakkan harapan terlalu tinggi. Kalau orang lahir Islam pun mengambil masa lama bertahun-tahun untuk mempelajari dan mendalami ilmu Islam, berilah sedikit masa kepada saudara baru untuk belajar, faham dan amalkan ajaran Islam. Bimbing, nasihat dan ajar tetapi janganlah terlalu cepat menghukum.
  • Adakan peninjauan dan 'followup' secara berkala kepada saudara baru selepas mereka memeluk Islam. Ziarahlah ke rumah mereka untuk mengetahui keadaan mereka, dan hulurkan bantuan zakat bagi yang memerlukan tanpa mereka merayu dan menagih. Jangan tunggu sehingga apabila saudara baru itu meninggal dunia, barulah kelam kabut sehingga berlaku kes perebutan mayat, lebih-lebih lagi setelah berpuluh-puluh tahun dia murtad tanpa diketahui pejabat agama Islam dan hidup sebagai bukan Islam.
  • Mudahkan proses pengislaman saudara baru, termasuk dari segi undang-undang. Islam agama rasmi negara tetapi saudara baru yang memeluk Islam dibiarkan berurusan sendirian untuk menukar nama dan status agama dalam kad pengenalan. Dari saat mengucap 2 kalimah syahadah, sepatutnya pihak jabatan agama tolong uruskan agar saudara baru itu dibantu dalam proses angkat sumpah bahawa dia dah peluk Islam [tak perlu pergi sendiri cari pesuruhjaya sumpah], berdaftar di jabatan pendaftaran negara sebagai orang Islam, dan tidak perlu menunggu sehingga hampir 6 bulan sebelum menerima kelulusan dari Putrajaya untuk pertukaran maklumat dalam kad pengenalan [terutama kepada kakitangan awam]. Proses sekarang amat rumit dan menyusahkan, sehingga ada yang tidak langsung mengisyiharkan pengislamannya di JPN.
  • Berikan juga motivasi kepada saudara baru yang masih lemah dari segi pengetahuan dan iman. Tekankan pada akidah dan akhlak di samping mengajar tentang fiqah.
  • Di sebuah NGO Islam sebuah negeri, seorang saudara baru pernah mengadu kepada saya bahawa walaupun dia memeluk Islam semenjak bulan September 2009, sekarang sudah bulan April 2010, dia masih disuruh meneruskan dalam kelas satu, tidak boleh naik kelas dan mempelajari perkara lain. Alasannya kerana dia masih belum pandai menyebut dengan betul bacaan dalam solat. Dia tidak pula diberi kelas iqra. Akhirnya dia merajuk dan tidak mahu sambung pengajian di situ. Kalau anda di tempatnya, mahukah anda teruskan, atau anda akan rasa Islam itu sangat susah dipelajari?
  • Banyak berempati pada saudara baru.
2. Bagaimana membuang persepsi masuk Islam = masuk Melayu
  • Alhamdulillah sekarang dengan adanya media massa dan pertubuhan NGO Islam seperti MACMA dan IPSI, persepsi masuk Islam bermaksud masuk Melayu semakin terkikis.
  • Lagipun sebilangan besar yang memeluk Islam dewasa ini merupakan golongan terpelajar yang memahami konsep sebenar masuk Islam dan mahu mengekalkan identiti bangsa sendiri yang tidak bercanggah dengan syariat Islam.
  • Mungkin mereka yang masih berpegang dengan persepsi masuk Melayu adalah golongan tua yang masih beranggapan begitu.
  • Pendidikan Islam yang menekankan bahawa Islam dianuti oleh semua bangsa di dunia perlu difahami dan dihayati oleh pelajar kita. Kalau boleh jemput penceramah Islam bukan Melayu yang boleh berkongsi pengalamannya memeluk Islam supaya dapat menimbulkan keinsafan kepada pelajar.
  • Penerangan dan kuliah khas tentang masuk Islam bukan masuk Melayu perlu diadakan dengan kerap melalui media akhbar dan TV supaya masyarakat faham dan dapat ubah persepsi.
  • Pembinaan bangunan khas seperti Masjid Cina dapat mengubah persepsi serong masyarakat terutama di kalangan orang Cina bahawa saudara baru Cina Muslim sudah masuk Melayu.
  • Kakitangan awam juga perlu peka dengan status bangsa seseorang yang memeluk Islam. Jangan secara automatik tulis Melayu apabila mengisi borang saudara baru tanpa bertanya padanya [selalu berlaku pada saya sendiri].
  • Jabatan Agama Islam juga perlu memainkan peranan penting terutama dalam usaha dakwahnya kepada bukan Islam, serta dalam sesi kursus kepada saudara baru. Salah satu benda yang dibekalkan kepada saudara baru adalah kain batik sarung/ kain pelikat. Mengapa berikan pakaian berkonsepkan keMelayuan itu sedangkan belum tentu akan digunakan oleh saudara baru yang bukan Melayu? Adakahia secara tidak langsung memberi bayangan bahawa saudara baru itu akan diMelayukan? Bukankah lebih baik kalau dibekalkan dengan kain tudung/kopiah, tasbih dan buku tentang akidha Islam, CD bacaan surah al-Quran yang lebih berkonsep universal?

3. Bagaimana terangkan istilah kafir kepada bukan Islam
  • Maksud 'kafir' adalah mereka yang menolak Islam. Benar, orang bukan Islam tidak suka dipanggil kafir.
  • Kita perlu terangkan maksud kafir bukan direka-reka oleh orang Islam tetapi sudah ada dalam kitab al-Quran.
  • Kafir dan bukan Islam tidak mempunyai maksud yang sama. Oleh itu, lebih baik kita menggunakan istilah bukan Islam untuk mereka yang tidak memusuhi Islam.
  • Kita juga perlu ingatkan diri kita dan beritahu mereka yang mengadu itu, bahawa orang kfir pad hari ini tidak semestinya akan kafir apabila dia mati [mungkin dia memeluk Islam dan menjadi seorang Muslim, insyaAllah] dan belum tentu seorang Muslim akan mati sebagai Muslim [ mungkin dia akan murtad, nauzu'billah]
4. Bagaimana orang Islam boleh bantu saudara baru?
  • Bantu mereka setakat mana yang boleh.
  • Terima kehadiran saudara baru sebagai saudara seagama, contohilah kaum Ansar yang menerima kehadiran kaum Muhajirin.
  • Hulurkan bantuan seperti menawarkan diri untuk mengajar mengaji, mengajar solat, menghantar mereka yang tiad kenderaan ke kelas agama, dll.
  • Jangan terlalu mendeak tetapi jangan juga buat tak tahu walaupun dia mungkin tinggal di sebelah rumah anda.
  • Tunjukkan sikap terbaik sebagai orang Islam.
  • Hulurkan bantuan kewangan dari kutipan zakat yang banyak itu, tanpa banyak kerenah birokrasi dan pandangan serong kepada mereka yang meminta. Bukan seperti sekarang, nak sedikit wang zakat, perlu isi borang, perlu tunggu ditapis, kena interviu, lepas itu baru dapat sedikit saja sedangkan saudara baru termasuk dalam golongan yang layak menerima zakat. Oleh itu, disyorkan saja mereka yang ingin membantu untuk hulurkan bantuan zakat mualaf kepada NGO Islam bukan kerajaan yang berurusan secara terus dengan saudara baru.
5. Bagaimana orang Islam dapat sebarkan Islam kepada bukan Islam?
  • Tunjukkan contoh terbaik dalam tingkahlaku, amalan dan pergaulan. Orang bukan Islam bukan tidak tahu ajaran Islam. Mereka tahu Islam melarang berjudi, minum arak, berzina dan sebagainya tetapi mereka juga melihat banyak orang Islam sendiri yang melakukan perbuatan terkutuk itu.
  • Doakan kawan-kawan bukan Islam agar mereka bukan sahaja diberi hidayah oleh Allah untuk memeluk Islam, tetapi juga kekuatan dan ketabahan untuk hidup sebagai orang Islam di bumi Allah.
  • Lakukan dakwah cara halus seperti menjemput kawan ke rumah untuk perayaan dan kenduri serta ikhlas berkawan baik dengan mereka. Hadiahkan buku tentang Islam yang boleh mereka fahami.
  • Untuk menerangkan tentang ajaran Islam kepada mereka bukan Islam, kita perlulah banyak membaca, hadiri majlis ilmu dan mendalami pengetahuan kita sendiri tentang ajaran agama kita. InsyaAllah akan lebih mudah untuk memberi penerangan secara spontan kepada kawan yang bertanya.