Dear Jay,
Words can't express how I feel when I discover that you no longer wish to let us know about your whereabouts. After begging for help and making us worry about your welfare for days, you chose a 180' turn and pretend that nothing had ever happened. You have deleted your blog. You have chosen to shut down your FB account. You no longer contacted me or anyone else who had tried to help you. We had spent time and money trying our best to help you whom we thought was really in trouble, and this is the way you show your appreciation? This is the way you show respect to the same people you dailed for help only a few days ago?
Your love-fear of your father is greater than your fear of Allah, as is your love to live as a true Muslimah is lesser than your love for fun. Disagree? Prove me wrong.
No, don't ever think that your journey is the same as mine. I had no choice then because there was no support 10 years ago for a woman who wanted to be a Muslimah. I was not bound to live as a Muslimah as I had not even recited the syahadah then. But you are different. Today you are already a Muslimah. The support you need are aplenty. You had contacted us out of the blue, asking for help, citing that your akidah was being threatened, and then you chose to turn your back on us and remain where you are.
We respect your choice. It is after all, your life, your future.
However, the least you could have done was to email, call or sms us informing us your final decision and to apologise for the trouble you have given, all the people who had tried to help you. At least explain why you had chosen this route instead of the one you had earlier decided on. We deserve to know as it was you who had asked for our help.
Instead, you have chosen to cut off all contacts with us, the very people whom you had called night and day for help only days ago. We had sacrificed our time and money trying to help you. We had put other things on hold just to look into your case.
And then when the going gets tough, you were gone with the wind. Poof. Silence. Not a phone call. Not an sms. Not an email.
And I know that you still have access to all those.
Do you know what you have done?
You had not only lead us on a wild-goose chase for nothing, you have given yourself a bad name.
We can no longer trust you.
Worse still, you have given a bad image to all Muslim reverts. Other reverts, who are stronger than you in iman, might not be able to get help as easily in future, thanks to your fickleness. People who had tried to help you out of duty as Muslims would now hesitate to assist another Muslim revert in trouble with his/her family as they do not want to be fooled by another flip-flop personality like you.
We hope you are happy in your life now. Thank you for teaching us a lesson about the indecisiveness of people your age. Flip-flop.
Next time make up your mind about what you really want before you dail the phone. And call others, not us. We are busy people who have little time to entertain fickle-minded people like you. Our time is better spent helping those who are really in trouble and who are steadfast in their decisions to live as Muslims, regardless of the problems they might face.
We did everything we could for you, but you backed out in the last minute. And you kept silent and left us wondering and worry for you, as we could not get in touch with you. Until we found out about the choice you had made, through other people.
Our conscience is clear, for we know that we have answered the call; we had done the best to help a fellow Muslim in trouble, and we do not ask to be paid. We can stand before Allah swt and not be ashamed. We had been willing to fight for you.
But you? You gave a sob story when you contacted us. Then when you realised the gravity of the situation, you said that you did not want to complicate matters. You expected to be rescued like a damsel in distress but you did not want to bear the responsibilities that come along with it. You ran and hid. And now you're pretending that by deleting your blog and all contacts with your Muslim friends, all those events had never happened?
Do you really believe that you can do it alone, without contacts with other stronger practising Muslims? Do you still think you can be happy leading a double life, being hijabless in public and still able to hold on to your akidah as a practising Muslimah at the same time, for a couple more years, living with liberalists? Honey, you're only torturing your soul this way. Something will break soon. I know. I know only too well.
Well, we wish you all the best. May Allah swt have mercy on you and those you wish to tarbiyah, and lead you back to the right path.
Wassalam.
assalamualaikum kak aliya.
ReplyDeletei can feel the anguish and wondering what has happen to that sister. i wish she read this post and make a better consideration by getting in touch with you and others that have try to help her. if not for what she intended before at least for forgiveness.
Waalaikumussalam kakchik,
ReplyDeleteI believe that everything that happens has its hikmah.She's made her choice and I wish her well. Just hope she returns to the right path before it's too late. Coz the longer you stay away the more difficult it is to return.
Assalamu'alaikum Cikgu...
ReplyDeleteBagi saya, adalah tak elok membuka aib orang lain meskipun apa yang orang itu buat tidak betul pada pandangan cikgu. Memang tak patut dia takutkan ayahnya lebih dari Allah tapi adakah Cikgu mengetahui kenapa dia membuat pilihan sedemikian?
Mungkin dia membuat pilihan itu setelah istikharah. Keputusannya mungkin tak betul bagi Cikgu tapi jangan lupa akan ayat 216 dalam Surah Al-Baqarah.
Setiap orang mempunyai tahap keimanan yang berlainan. Kita tak tahu imannya lemah atau kuat tapi pada umurnya, dia pasti melakukan perkara2 tanpa banyak berfikir. Kita pun tak tahu tekanan psikologi yang dialaminya, bukan?
Bagaimana pula jika dia ingin contact Cikgu dan orang-orang lain tapi keadaan tidak mengizinkannya? Mungkin keluarganya pasti akan mengawasinya dengan lebih ketat lagi...
Allah mengetahui nawaitu masing-masing. Dia pasti tak ingin menjauhkan diri dari mengamalkan Islam tapi dia mesti memerlukan kesabaran yang banyak untuk mengharungi ini...
Ingatkah akan kisah seorang Muslimin di zaman Rasulullah yang pura-pura kufur tapi sebenarnya beriman kepada Allah?
Bagi saya, hanya Allah berhak menilai keimanan dan ketaqwaan seseorang itu... Allah jua yang lebih mengetahui, bukan?
Yang penting, kita semua bersangka baik dengan saudari baru kita itu.
Elixir,
ReplyDeleteWaalaikumussalam,
Saya tidak membuka aib sesiapa pun kerana saya tidak langsung menyatakan siapa dirinya dan asal usulnya. Saya juga tidak menuduhnya murtad.
Hanya Allah yang berhak menilai tindakannya. Saya sekadar mengingatkannya.Saya tahu dia beristikarah.
Saya tulis pos ini supaya dia boleh renung kembali apa yang telah dilakukannya, supaya dia akan lebih matang membuat keputusan pada masa akan datang, apabila keputusan itu bakal melibatkan banyak pihak lain. Dan supaya orang lain yang bakal membuat keputusan penting akan menimbangkan dengan serius segala implikasi yang mungkin timbul sebelum membuat panggilan 'minta diselamatkan', bersikap berani dan tidak menghilangkan diri begitu sahaja tanpa berita.
Tindakannya yang flip flop menyebabkan kami yang membantunya dahulu terpaksa meminta maaf kepada pihak lain pula.
Ya, saya tahu dia sedang membaca blog saya. Saya ada bukti. Dia masih ada akses internet, dan masih boleh menghubungi saya melalui emel sekiranya dia mahu.
Banyak pihak lain juga terlibat ya? Dia minta tolong siapa ya? Nampaknya dia tak matang lagi. Dia masih muda, bukan? Takpe... Doakan dia yang terbaik dan semoga Allah melindunginya selalu. Mungkin dia tak berani kerana tak tau nak jangka apa pada masa depan (kalau dia masih belajar la).
ReplyDeleteMungkin dia takut Cikgu marah dia kot sebab dia pilih jalan itu, tu yang dia tak contact Cikgu. InsyaAllah mungkin dia akan berani contact dengan Cikgu setelah mengumpul balik semangat dia? Tunggu dan lihat saja la. Atau mungkin dia pun tunggu Cikgu contact dia dulu? Masing-masing tunggu nak contact kot.
Teruskan bersangka baik... Allah Maha Mengetahui isi hatinya dan niatnya serta Cikgu.
Moga-moga semua orang mengambil iktibar dari perkara ini. InsyaAllah ada hikmahnya. Amiin...
Salam alayk..
ReplyDeleteDear ukhti aliya, i agree with ukhti Elixir.
Sesungguhnya manusia hanya mampu merancang, dan hanya Allah S.W.T yg Maha Menentukan.
For me, sincerity is when we try to do something w/o wanting anyone to know about it because nawaitu kita ialah melakukan sesuatu perkara hanya demi Allah.
I'm sure she never intended to trouble anyone.
Choosing her father is also a good thing, because Islam juga mensyariatkan kita untuk sentiasa menghormati kedua ibubapa kita.
Everybody makes mistakes, and these mistakes are what makes us human and makes us learn how to appreciate life more.
Maybe she made her choice demi berdakwah to her family. Who knows right? True Muslim and Muslimah's never give up. Sesungguhnya Allah mengasihi hamba-hambaNya yang sentiasa berusaha tanpa mengenal erti putus asa.
And we must also never forget that, everything happens with Allah's consent.
Insya-Allah, Allah will lead her the way. It all depends on ourself to make a change, and it doesn't only depend on our surroundings.
Although saya tahu, ukhti Aliya tidak bermaksud untuk membuka aib sesiapa, but walaupun ukhti tidak membuka identitinya, secara tidak langsung, org2 yg tidak mengenali to whom you are refering to akan beri tanggapan lain kepadanya.
I'm sure she will be well and will always be a true Muslimah bi-iznillah. =)
Wallahu'alam. Memang benar semua berlaku dengan izin Allah swt.
ReplyDeleteSaya hanya mampu berdoa agar peristiwa yang telah berlaku tidak akan menyulitkan mualaf lain mendapatkan bantuan pada masa akan datang. Orang akan lebih berat hati kerana takut pisang berbuah dua kali.
Insya-Allah no worries about that ukhti.
ReplyDeleteSaya yakin in the end of the day, semuanya akan berjalan dgn lancar..
Setiap insan itu berbeza. Tuhan mencipta kita berbeza2 bukan untuk kita berbalah tentangnya, namun untuk kita memikirkannya, mengambil ikitbar darinya dan menghormatinya.
Nobody ever plans to make mistakes. Yet these mistakes is actually the ones yg akan membantu kita menjadi lebih tabah. Semua masalah itu berbeza juga, dan cara menanganinya juga turut berbeza.
I'm sure nawaitu saudari kita itu di jalan Allah, jadi saya yakin she will be just fine. Amiin~
Nur,
ReplyDeleteInsyaAllah.. hope so, for her sake.
If you know her, please send her my salam. If you don't, please pray for her because she needs more help than you may think.
Assalamualaikum
ReplyDeletekak Aliya,
when i read this entry, i don't know how to respond. it makes me ponder for days. but before that i already sense something terribly wrong about her. but i ignore it thinking it maybe just my own sense. she appear strong outside, you know.
like old malay saying, 'cuba berlunjur sebelum duduk'. it certainly make you falling down hard. it does happened sometimes.
what makes me more even more.... how to say it. i don't know....
i know word can't described my feelings. furthermore it is me who introduce her to you.
worse it happened before upcoming Ramadhan. when other scramble towards Rahmah, Maghfirah and Ifkun (liberation) min An-Narr.
i pray may Allah have mercy on her soul. before its too late. we don't know when our time come calling. the truth is only her can asking for it herself.
all i can say is
InnalilLahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un.
Wasalam.
p/s after this i will never introduce anyone to ever again, insyaAllah.
Waalaikumussalam azlan,
ReplyDeletePlease don't feel bad, it's not your fault. I'm not angry, just worried because she has disappeared without a trace. And as I was privy to her troubles, I know she can't go on staying away from mosques etc which believe is what she's doing now.Yes, she appears strong but she's weakening due to external and internal forces.Only Allah can help her now.
I welcome anyone you want to introduce :)
In fact, i still have a few emails to reply