Wednesday, December 31


Beijing, at a Ski Resort.

"Coldddd!!!" I shivered as I stepped out into the skiing area.
There were some people skiing around the area. I decided not to. It was too risky and I didn't want a swollen ankle as a result of a impulse to try skiing. My husband too, with his still swollen leg, decided to just watch the others and snap photographs.
A few of us from the same tour group were chatting near the door. We noticed a woman skiing near us. Suddenly she fell flat on her back. After a few seconds, she sat up and kicked at the ski equipment.
We didn't pay much attention to her initially.She had refused others' help in getting herself up, shaking her head and refusing to give her hand for them to pull her up. Then suddenly she lay on the cold icy snow again.
We had thought that she was tired, that she wanted to rest and regain her strength.
A minute later another man stopped to check on her. He started to call for assistance. It was then we realised something was wrong.
A few of the men in my tour group rushed over to carry the woman into the warm hall. She was unconscious. They lay her on the floor.
"Is there a doctor here?" somebody shouted.
The men stood and watched, noting that she was a Malaysian tourist like the rest of us. The other women didn't do much either. Perhaps none knew first aid.
I was hoping that the skiing resort had a medical staff who could revive her but unfortunately nobody turned up. Only a few Chinese locals stood nearby and asked me about her particulars in Mandarin. I said I didn't know her as she was not in my tour group. I could only help translate what I knew from the other Malays who witnessed her fall.
We started to panic. She was not moving. I checked her pulse, weak. Barely traceable. Her breathing too was shallow.
"CPR, CPR.. anyone know CPR?" somebody called out.
"Can't do CPR. she's still breathing," I replied.
I raised her feet, hoping to get more blood to her brain. Gosh, she's heavy. Her mother appeared and starting slapping her face, calling her but she didn't respond.
"Anyone got medical oil minyak angin?" I shouted, hoping that among the Malay ladies, there's one with a bottle. I didn't carry any. That's the only substitute for smelling salt that I know of, and had worked each time my former students fainted during assemblys.
"Here, here," said the woman's mother.
"Let her smell it for a few seconds," I said. Instead, she rubbed some on her daughter's face.
Still the woman didn't wake up. Noticing that a nostril was closed with a blood-stained tissue, we took it off. I was told by her anxious mother that she was bleeding from her nose that morning before they arrived at the skiing resort.
An old Chinese man appeared. The Chinese toldme that he's a traditional herbalist sinseh, not a medical doctor. He started to check on her. Then one of my group members, a man, fearing the worst, began to press her chest repeatedly.
Alhamdulillah she coughed and became conscious again.
"Talk to her," they said.
"What's her name?" I asked the old woman who claimed to be her mother.
As I was able to talk both Malay and Mandarin, I was asked to act as translator. As a Muslimah, I was able to help in giving the first aid which the sinseh was uncomfortable doing in public. I almost shouted into her ear, patting her cheeks lightly to keep her conscious. She was in a state of confusion. She complained that her head and right leg hurt. Then she slipped into unconsciousness again.

We worked hard to waken her up, fearing that she had injured her head during her fall. The resort manager had called for an ambulance to take her to the hospital. As I calmed her down (she had started to cry and complained of pain) I noticed that she had some medical plasters (koyok) on her head, indicating that she was not well. Gosh, then why was she skiing?
Moreover, she was not properly attired in that cold freezing weather. It was a challenge for us Muslims to guard her modesty, with everyone standing to watch her. Finally when she started to shiver, I asked her mother to get her a sweater. "Yes, I have one in the bag" the mother said. MasyaAllah..
I sighed in relief when the medical officers arrived in the ambulance. She had become a handful to handle. She was fully conscious by then. She didn't want to go to the hospital and screamed in protest.
We watched as she was carried on a stretcher into the ambulance, her mother and tourist guide accompanying her. Another loud scream was heard when they put her into the ambulance. We shook our heads.

And as my tour group members and I returned to our own bus that evening, we pondered.
"Always be careful when we want to try new things."
"Don't do anything strenous when you're not feeling well."
"Be properly dressed for a cold weather, especially Muslimah."
"Learn first aid so you'd know exactly what to do during an emergency."
"Strange, we all helped her although we are from another tour group while her own group members just stood by and watched. What would have happened if we weren't there today?"
"Syukur, we should remain united and continue to help each other in this tour group."

I have no idea what had happened to that woman.
We didn't meet any of her tour group members after that incidence.
I just hope that she's fine now.

Sunday, December 28


"Tell me, why did you take her straightaway to Pusat Islam for conversion? Why not wait a more few days?"asked Puan Nor to Dr Kabilan, who had helped in my reversion to Islam..
I sat on the chair in Pn.Nor's office.
The two good friends, both my lecturers, smiled at each other.
"Once a person is ready to recite the syahadah, we as Muslims should not wait any longer. The longer we wait, the greater will syaitan cast doubts in the hearts of these mualaf, so that they'd change their minds to become Muslims. So once they state confidently that they want to be Muslims, we should do our best and as quickly as possible to assist in getting them officially declared as Muslims," explained Dr Kabilan.
"Yes, it has happened before.Some have waited too long and failed to become Muslims."

In this eve of Awal Muharram, I call upon Muslim brothers and sisters to assist anyone whom you know intend to become Muslims in any way you can. If they need help to ucap the 2-kalimah syahadah, accompany them to the nearest Jabatan Agama Islam, the local imam or the various Islamic NGOs which can do the official documentation.If they need guidance about Islam, teach them. If they need shelter, bring them to the nearest shelter for reverts run by NGOs. If they need money, find them jobs or refer them to the Islam NGOs for advice.

For those who intend to revert to Islam but are hesitating for various reasons, don't wait too long. Remember that the longer you postpone, the greater is the temptation not to proceed. Doubts will be cast upon your mind and weaken your intention. Not everyone is a fortunate as I did, who was given a second chance to be a Muslimah - 10 years later.

Alhamdulillah Allah swt guided me to this video clip. My "suara hati" instinct tells me this is a special one for somebody. I had planned this entry for tomorrow but with this nasyeed keeps playing in my head, I guess somebody out there is in need of it today :)

Sorry if my translation is poor :P

Suara ku dengar menyeru kepadaNya,
Suara bergema memuji kebesaranNya,
Suara memujuk kita mendekatiNya,
Suara hidayah mengajak mentaatiNya..

Itulah suara yang ku rindui,
Itulah suara yang ku nantikan,
Itulah suara membawa kebenaran,
Itulah suara datangnya dari Tuhan..

Sambut ia, terimalah, bila datang,
Pada kita, kerna ia, hanya datang,
Pada hamba, yang terpilih,
Tidak akan, kau temui,
Untuk kali, keduanya, takkan dapat,
Engkau cari, bila ia, telah pergi..

Syukurilah dan amalkan,
Sampaikanlah pada siapa pun,
Perjuangan dalam hidupmu,
Moga rahmat Allah bersamamu..

Suara Hidayah(the voice of guidance in my heart)

The voice I heard calls me to Him
The resounding voice praises His greatness
The voice persuades us to Him
The voice of hidayah invites us to obey Him

That's the voice I long to hear
That's the voice I've been waiting for
That's the voice that brings the truth
That's the voice that comes from God

Receive it, accept it,
when it comes to us,
because it only comes
to the chosen ones
You'll never find it
for the second time, will not get
although you seek it, when it is gone..

Be thankful and practise it
Pass it to anyone
Be it the mission of your life
May Allah's blessings be with you.

May the hidayah remains in our hearts and soul.
May Allah's blessings and guidance be with you, me and everyone.


Pejam celik pejam celik sudah masuk tahun baru Hijrah..1430 Hijrah.
Alhamdulillah syukur pada Allah swt.

I hope 1429H has been good for you as it has been for me.
InsyaAllah 1430 Hijrah will be a better year for us all.
May we all be better Muslims and Muslimat who are steadfast in our faith and do our part in the spread of the true teachings of Islam.. ameen.

Here's a lovely nasyeed sung by Zain Bhikha

And enjoy this very touching one by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

Saturday, December 27


I stared at the aluminium water container. At 12.30pm in Beijing, it was freezing cold and I was having second thoughts of getting my hands wet and risk having frostbite. Yet it was a chance of a lifetime - to perform solat at a Chinese Muslim mosque in Beijing. One of the things I had wanted to do in China.

Alhamdulillah there was warm water for ablution. The washrooms in the mosques were different. There were several cubicles and hooks to hang our jackets etc. I couldn't find toilets and when I asked the locals, they seemed to indicate the washrooms are for that purpose too. Therefore, I always made sure that I did my business in the shops or restaurants before going to the mosques. Less problem :P

One of the things we Malaysians had to get used to in China is the lack of water taps in the toilets. There are lots of tissue papers but no water taps, so we had to adjust ourselves to the new conditions. Doing istinjak became a challenge, huhuhu.

Entrance of the Anheqiao Mosque
My first sight of the Anheqiao mosque was "Wow!". The tall main building looked like a temple but it was actually the main hall where the Muslim men pray. We arrived at our first mosque in Beijing on a Friday, in time for zohor prayer. In great haste, we quickly did our ablution(alhamdulillah my Malaysian group was the first group to arrive at the mosque) and hurried to the prayer hall which was in a separate building next to the men's.

The Anheqiao Mosque built in the Ming Dynasty (between the year 1368 and 1644). This is the main prayer hall, for men.

The Muslimah's prayer room at Nandouya Mosque
which was built 300 years ago.

The Muslimah's halls were clean and there were soft paddings for us to stand when performing prayers. In all the three mosques we went to, there were small sturdy tables and stools, arranged neatly at both sides of the prayer halls for old women to sit and pray. How considerate and thoughtful, and something the mosques in Malaysia should have too. I met several senior Chinese ladies who seemed to have familiarized themselves with the presence of Muslim tourists and were helpful in giving directions and instructions. All in Mandarin, of course.

In the Anheqiao Mosque, we were suddenly alerted when the Imam ( I think)stood outside the main hall and called out the adhan loudly. Then the local men began to enter the main hall and sat down. My tour members, the men who were already in the hall looked puzzled. Instead of performing the Friday prayer, the imam sat down in front of the hall and started reading the al-Quran. Oh, his reading was beautiful! When I hear it, I really felt calm and in peace. All my tour members praised his readings. We didn't wait to hear his sermon as we had to go elsewhere. Anyway I doubt any of my tour group members, other than yours truly, could understand his sermon.

The mosques are community centres for Muslims. There are many rooms for different purposes, and to my amusement there's even a special room for 'Marital Consultation' at the Anheqiao Mosque. However, there seemed to be a lack of young Chinese Muslims performing prayers at the mosques. Perhaps they couldn't leave their workplace to pray at the mosques, unlike us in Malaysia. All I saw were mostly senior citizens at the prayer halls. And they had this serene look on their faces..

The entrance to the women's prayer hall at the Madian Mosque. See the clock that tells the time? The heavy green drapes keep the cold wind away.

At Madian Mosque, there was a small souvenir shop inside the mosque grounds. I stopped by to have a look. A friendly local woman attended to me. Alhamdulillah with my limited Mandarin, I managed to communicate with her. When the caretaker came, he was quite happy to know that I'm a Malaysian Chinese Muslim. I was told that there're about 70 Muslim Chinese families in the area, with 2300 Muslims.

The door of the Madian Mosque.
This mosque built during the reign of Emperor Kangxi, is about 300 years old.

"How old are you? How old is your husband?"
They seemed to like asking these questions. I suppose it's their custom. It's great to talk to the local Chinese Muslims. I've talked to the friendly local imams and mosque caretakers, the local Muslim sisters at the mosques (they're mostly serious), and some Chinese tourists from Guangdong (one had lived in Penang for years) who gave me a few "1 jiao" notes (worthless, cannot buy anything, he said :P). Thank God I know enough Mandarin to gain this experience. My Mandarin "lao-shi" would have been proud of me, hehehe.

The Chinese in China have been Muslims long before Islam stepped foot in Malay peninsular. There're actually more Muslims in China than there're Malays in Malaysia. According to my travel guide, the Communist regime had tried to stop the spread of Islam but their Muslim faith had become stronger during the tough period. Nowadays, the government seemed to have apologized for their past treatment of Muslim Chinese and have helped to rebuild the local mosques. Alhamdulillah, the popularity of Muslim tourism in Beijing has helped boost the Muslims' economy and soften the government's treatment towards them. I was amazed when the local peddlers are able to speak in Malay! "Lima yuan, boleh kurang.." was the normal phrases we heard when they approached us. The tudung indicated that we're Malaysian Muslims.

Note: Wish I could visit the famous Dongsi Mosque and Tongzhou Mosque but they're not in our agenda. We stopped by at the nearest mosque along our route. InsyaAllah next time...


Two wonderful events happened on the 3rd day in Beijing.
We climbed the Great Wall of China, one of the seven wonders of the world.
We saw and touched our first snow.
Alhamdulillah my husband was able to walk about with his cane although his foot still hurt, so we decided to climb up as far as we could go. It was a windy cold 3 degrees below Celcius and there was some snow on the ground (as you can see in the picture). Our bus driver dropped us all at the highest ground, so we didn't have to climb so far up to reach the peak. The view at the top was great. Climbing up was tiring but coming down was hard on the legs and quite dangerous due to the steep steps. I was afraid of falling.

The white material on the ground was snow.

"Photo? 50 yuan only.."
I couldn't resist. Cold as it was, I decided to go for the photo shot at the Great Wall. We had to take off our warm jackets to put on the thin costumes and smile at the camera for a few minutes. Shiver.. shiver.. brrrr...!! My tour members laughed merrily as we posed about, me in my purple Empress costume (hey, it was a chance of a lifetime, LOL) and my husband chose a general's costume (he got to hold a long sword). It was crazy because we riskedcatching a cold but we had fun, hahahaa..and syukur, I was able to keep my aurat covered properly because the gown was long and loose. Don't miss this if you go to China.

Shivering in the thin costume but enjoyed wearing it.
The headgear was heavy.

Our tour guide, Azmi, said that in China, the Chinese said that the word "ren" or 'human' is the most difficult word to write. Lots of people were killed building China's two main monuments, which are the Great Wall of China and the Grand Canal. Both are shaped like the word "ren", with the Great Wall stretching from East to West and the Grand Canal from North to South. Both monuments are important for the survival of the Chinese people but at a great cost - the lives of those who were killed building it. And as we walked on that Great Wall, we looked in awe at how strong it still is, and how much the people of that time had sacrificed, how creative they were, and how hard they worked to build this building, the only visible one seen from outer space.

And in that cold weather, we found a delicious local diet. The roasted sweet potato, hehehe. It's quite expensive but deliciously sweet and helped to keep us warm and full till the next meal. Halal too. I had them for three days (might explained the weight gained :P). They're sold outside the main tourist spots by local Chinese. These Chinese locals are very enterprising; they seem to know what tourists need - warm food, warm drinks and cheap souvenirs. And yes, they are willing to withstand the cold weather to make a few bucks. Bargaining is a part of life there.

Roasted sweet potatoes for sale..yummy!

Syukur, despite our health conditions, we had managed to cope. I was quite worried about being stuck on the Great Wall and unable to descend as Husband was still limping. Perhaps the cold had helped to numb the pain. Whatever it is, I'm grateful. Allah swt is merciful and had allowed us to have a smooth and safe journey in Beijing. And in winter, there was no rain, so we were able to visit all the places, shivering as we were, huhuhu.

Thursday, December 25


"Lai.. lai.. come..come."
We were ushered into the restaurant. A Chinese Muslim restaurant, by its interior look. Tired, cold and hungry we took our seats at the tables allocated for us. 10-12 persons per table.

Halal Cantonese cuisine at one of the restaurants we ate at.

The food?
Yummy! Perhaps I was too hungry or because it's been 2 years since I tasted authentic Chinese cuisine, but they're really yummy. We were served several types of cuisine for lunch and dinner - traditional Beijing cuisine, Cantonese, and Xinjiang cuisine. Each has its specialty.
Most of us were not familiar with the Xinjiang cuisine, food of the traditional Urghur people. I stared at the pieces of bread, the bowl of egg soup and the thin shreds of fried potatoes. Interesting. Most of the dishes were oily but due to the cold weather, it helps to have some fat in our menu, I guess.

Xinjiang cuisine with bread, fried eggs and shredded potatoes among other dishes

Some of my Malay tour members brought sambal belacan and chilli padi, hehehe. Any food will taste great when they're around. I consider myself fortunate because my tour group members were friendly and easy to get along with. Some families brought along their children (lucky ones) and the youngest among us was little 9-month old Nik Fatin Safiah. Bless her, she was so well-behaved during the whole trip. Such a darling.

Then on the 4th day, we had steamboat for lunch. That's the first time I had steamboat using charcoal. How did it taste? Well, it was ok. As you can see, the plates were empty.

It looked old but the waitress told me it had been used for only a year.

One of the problems we had here was getting used to the small dinner plates. It was quite difficult eating rice using a small plate. Alhamdulillah we were given forks and spoons at every restaurants. Hot steaming rice was available at requests (large bowls for each table and we had 3-4 servings of it at each meal) and yes, I had second helpings, hehehe. Dieting is not an option when going on a tour.

Alhamdulillah, food was never a problem in Beijing. There are many Muslim restaurants around and although there wasn't any halal food logo, the wall hangings will indicate that it serves Muslim food. There was even a restaurant with photographs of the cook doing his haj in Mekkah. Usually there're chicken and beef in the menu, with a large fish as a bonus in some restaurants. Vegetables are cheap so we were served several dishes of greens at every meal. Sorry, no hot curry. My Malay tour-mates missed the steaming hot curry :P

And when you can speak some Mandarin, it helps, hehehe. It helped when I needed to ask the waitress questions like "What is this dish?", "How many dishes altogether?" and "Anymore dish?" when the food arrived slowly. You see, our tour guides ate at another smaller table in another room.
And when Mas, my tour agent asked me how I find the food, what did I say?
"Sedap.. delicious.. I haven't eaten these types of food for more than 2 years!"
Authentic Chinese halal food is hard to find in Malaysia, at least where I live. When I miss them, I have to cook.

Wednesday, December 24

A MUSLIM NYONYA IN BEIJING (1) Coping in winter

"Please wear your winter clothes. It's cold outside," said Azmi, our Chinese tour guide in fluent Malay.
"Follow me," he said.
We walked with our bags out of the airport.
Gosh, he was right. It was cold at 8am China time. I felt as if I had walked into a refrigerator. Interestingly, 8am in Beijing was the same as 8am in Malaysia. We didn't have to adjust our watches.
Then the winter wind blew.
"Ooooo..." somebody uttered and everybody stopped in their tracks. We shivered.
It was freezing cold!! The dry icy wind hit our faces and caused temporary numbness. It was only a 2-minute walk to the bus but it sure felt like eternity.
"Welcome to Beijing. The weather report this morning predicted 0'Celcius today and a -4'Celcius at night," said a smiling Azmi.
Brrrr....!!! What a freezing welcome.

Our group picture at Tiananmen Square in front of the Forbidden City.

"We're going to Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City first," said Azmi, explaining that the hotel will only be available for check-in at noon.
There was no time to put on my thermal wear(longjohn) so with only my long-sleeved T-shirt, jeans and jacket, I followed the rest of the tour group to the historical sites. It was 9am, the sun was shining but it was still cold.

"You ok?"
I was worried about my husband but he gritted his teeth and followed the rest of the group members into the Forbidden City. We were far behind but we didn't mind. All we had to do was to look for Azmi's blue flag amongst the other tour agency's flags. Our Malaysian agent, Mas was kind enough to stay behind to ensure our safety and to cheer us on. With the cold wind blowing from time to time, it was really a challenge. It was so cold that my camera's batteries lasted only for 30 minutes. I prayed that Husband would have the strength to walk on his painful and swollen leg. It would be terrible if he couldn't continue and we got stranded somewhere in the Forbidden City. Well, a local Chinese man offered us the use of a wheelchair for 200 yuan(RM135) from Tiananmen Square to the Forbidden City but Husband refused. With 5 more days to go, I suppose his was a wise choice. We put our trust in Allah swt to help us reach our destination(the bus) safely and in good time. We didn't want to keep others waiting for us.

Syukur alhamdulillah we managed to reach the waiting bus at the other end of the Forbidden City at 12.35pm, 5 minutes behind schedule. Amazingly, we had walked for more than 3 hours, or at least 5km. I'm so proud of my husband. He's tough :)
In front of the main building of the Forbidden City. You can get lost here.

The Forbidden City is large. Build in 1406, the buildings are still well-preserved. It's amazing how delicate the carvings are and how strong they made the doors of the buildings. Even the floors are in good condition, with each cement slab closely linked to the next slab that there is hardly any space between them. Only strict discipline and hardwork could produce such high-quality materials. The gardens in the Forbidden City still have growing trees and are well-preserved. In fact everything looked good. I salute the people of China for their preservation of this beautiful and historical site.

It was so cold that the river had frozen. I've seen a local walking on its surface.

One of the interesting things I noticed in Beijing is the this vehicle. It's a motorized bicycle,called "ta-pin che" by locals. It has a motor that runs on batteries, so it's easy to cycle up a hill. How convenient and environmentally friendly. I've seen many Chinese nationals using it in the morning on their way to work. Wish we have this in Malaysia.

This belongs to a Chinese peddler from whom I bought some souvenirs. See, it even has thick gloves to keep the hands warm while cycling.

The Chinese welcome Malaysians warmly. We're known to be generous and friendly. Muslim tours have become well-known in Beijing, which has many famous Muslim restaurants. I was told that in this cold December alone, there're about 100 Malaysian tourist groups in Beijing, with about 2300 tourists. This means a lot to the Chinese nationals who depend largely on foreign tourists to make a living. In a city of 17 million people, and a sales promoter's monthly salary is only 800 yuan (RM430), every sales counts. And yes, they work hard to make a living.


"Sir, do you need a wheelchair?"asked the MAS stewardess.
We nodded. The flight had been 6 hours long and we were tired and sleepy. With 2 meals in the airplane between 0030am and 6.30am, w could only sleep for a few hours.
We were the last to leave the plane as we waited for a wheelchair to be provided. Soon Husband was being wheeled to the immigration counter by a doll-like Chinese lady. I followed behind.
We tried to communicate with her in English. She understood but we had some problems understanding her. I decided another language might help.

"What's your name?" I asked her in Mandarin.
"Wang,' she answered.
She was surprised and relieved that I could speak Mandarin. Soon we were talking away in her own language. One thing I've learnt in university is that Mandarin spoken by Malaysian Chinese differs slightly from the mainland Chinese in terms of intonation and pronunciation. Theirs is pure Mandarin, spoken with a thick accent which I find hard to imitate. With my limited vocabulary(alas, I was English-educated) I managed to be my husband's translator.
She waited patiently as we waited for our luggage to arrive from the plane. Then with me pushing the luggage trolley and she wheeling Husband in the wheelchair, we arrived at the immigration counter.
"I can only bring you here," she said.
"Xie xie (thank you)," I replied and shook her hand, with a small piece of money in my palm. I had meant to tip her for her assistance as it can't be denied, wheeling a well-build man in the wheelchair is hardwork. It wasn't much anyway, just a small token. The steward at the our airport had been 'ok' with our tip, and we wanted to give her, who has never been to Malaysian, a small souvenir (our currency). That's the only Malaysian item we had with us.

Surprisingly, she shrank away.
"No, no.. can't take it. Sorry," she said in Mandarin and looked quite pale.
"What's wrong?" asked my puzzled Husband.
"She can't take the tip. It's against her work regulation," I explained quietly in Malay.
I nodded at her with understanding and pushed the note back into my pocket. We thanked Miss Wang again and waved her goodbye as we went through the immigration with Husband limping. Thankfully he had his cane to help him.
We learnt from Miss Wang that it's unnecessary (might even be an insult) to give tips to the Chinese. The customs and immigration officers at the Beijing airport were also courteous but strict. We were checked thoroughly and our hand luggages were scanned and rescanned(opps.. no liquid, take out all metals and wallets) until they were satisfied. We went through the same procedures both times. They were really disciplined. I suppose their experiences handling the 2008 Beijing Olympics had helped.
Our tour guide, Azmi later told us that the Chinese nationals detest bribes and many rich men had been jailed due to this serious crime. In China, the rich can't buy their way out of jail for everyone is treated equal there. We may even see ministers cycling to work in the cold morning weather.

What a way to enter China via Beijing!
Husband was on a wheelchair and me following behind. Because of our situation, we passed the custom officers quickly using special lane and were the first among the tour group members to arrive at the lobby of the airport. Others had to go through strict checks at the regular lanes.

Our handsome tour guide, Azmi who is a Chinese Muslim, was already waiting for us with his blue flag of ICT (Islamic China Tours). To our delight, he could speak Malay fluently as he is the editor of China Radio International and had been to all the states in Malaysia during his 10 trips to the country.
With our jackets, muffler and gloves, we ventured out to the main door of the airport. Thus we began our interesting tour of Beijing.

Tuesday, December 23


"Yang, we have to change plans. I can't drive all the way to Kuala Lumpur," Husband called to inform me from the clinic.
I received the call two days before departure to KL. All tickets had been bought. Visa and arrangement had been made. I listened with dread as Husband's health problem emerged again after so long.
He had gout 3 days before our planned trip for Beijing.
We had planned to drive from Penang to KL but due to the unforseen circumstances, we had to change to Plan B.

"We open only for tonight, dik. It's Sunday and we have a special train to KL. Otherwise we'd be closed by 8pm," said the lady clerk at the train station where I bought the next day's ticket. Alhamdulillah, for I was able to purchase the needed tickets that night at 9.45pm instead of having to return to buy again the next morning.

We left for KL by the 7am train from Butterworth with 2 large travelling bags. Husband was already limping with a cane and I was trying hard to keep calm while cheering him on. It was a long 6-hour journey and we arrived at the KL Central at 2.30pm. We headed straight to KL International Airport and arrived there at 8pm. It was a tiring day. We had little rest, packing till late into the night the day before and waking up at 5am to catch the train.I was so tired that I had no time to switch on my PC and inform this blog's readers about my planned trip to China. Sorry if I had kept you all waiting the whole week for my latest news. Every plan had to changed due to Husband's sudden illness.

We didn't even know where to meet up with our travelling agent from TM Tours and Travels. We had contacted them through e-mails and phone calls, and they had been very polite and helpful, asking us to meet at the airport at 9.30pm on 16th December.

I with Mas in a white tudung(tour agent who managed 33 of us in Beijing)
and Awin in brown suit(the agent in charge at the office). Lovely ladies :)

Syukur alhamdulillah. By 10pm, everyone had arrived. Husband managed to get himself a wheelchair from the MAS counter and we were quite comfortable waiting for the 0030am flight to Beijing. We even had the MAS personnel to wheel him to the plane, which actually saved me a lot of trouble, me in my still post-surgery stage.

Our tour agents were friendly and stayed with us until we departed. There were 29 of us in the Muslim tour to Beijing. Our tour guide, the sweet and friendly Mas was efficient and we soon were on our way to the capital of China.

When Allah swt wills it, it will indeed happen as He plans. I had never thought that we would be leaving KLIA in such a condition, me wheeling Husband in the wheelchair and managing the bags myself. We had thought that he would be looking after me as I was supposedly the weaker one (and recovering from surgery)between us, huhuhu. Alhamdulillah I didn't suffer from any ailments during our 6-days and 5-nights trip to China. Husband too had slowly recovered and could walk without a cane by the 4th day in Beijing. When we left the historical city, he had taken charge of everything including the bags. I was very relieved.

This trip to Beijing had been a memorable one and I had learned to fully trust Allah swt and depend on His wisdom. I had met some friendly Chinese Muslim nationals, prayed at the mosques there, climbed the Great Wall of China, ate some delicious halal Chinese food and made new friends among my tour members. I had seen many new things and places. InsyaAllah I'll share them in this blog soon.

Saturday, December 13


"We meet again here in 1998, ok?" she asked.
"Ok." we agreed.
1998 came and went but we didn't have the chance to meet. At the age of 27, we were seeing the world. Some were just beginning to start a family while the others were busy dating and building a career. With only e-mails to help us communicate, it was difficult and time-consuming. We lost touch again after a year of e-mailing.

Then in 2008, with the latest technology, we managed to find each other again. It started with one persistent lady friend- Anita.
" You have to enter FB la.. everyone's there," she YM me.
" Aiyoh, lazy la.I've already got YM, google, and skype. What's FB by the way?"
" Facebook."
Bored out of my wits while recovering at in-laws', I decided to give it a try. And wah-lao, Anita was right. I found almost 20 of my 'golden' (the term 'old' is sensitive, hehehe) friends there.

I used the magic words. The nicknames they gave me in school to introduce myself (I didn't use my maiden name in this FB). And with a good profile photo.
And the responses were surprisingly warm.
"OMG, is that you *nickname*? (can't write here, malu laa) Why you look so young and sweet (ahem, thanks for the compliment)
"Where are you? You've changed your name?"
"Shall we meet next Chinese New Year. We're often back to our parents' home during the festive hols (meaning most will be in the same town at the same time).

Oh, thanks to the quick responses provided, I managed to keep in touch with almost a dozen golden friends at the same time. No need to open e-mails, just write on their walls or leave a private message.
And my golden school friends are multi-racial, multi-religious and live all over the world. Some have chosen to become Home Ministers and raise their children while others are juggling between home, work and commitments. And as we're all of the same age, it's interesting how different our lives turn out to be. As I've known some since we were 6 years old, we've practically grown up together until we were 17 or 19. They're a part of my life, and are irreplaceable.

Alhamdulillah, although I have a new name and a new identity, it has not stopped real friends from keeping in touch with me. For those who have not responded, well it's still considered a lost friendship, I guess. We can't please everybody or make everybody like us.

I haven't meet them for 20 years. I gazed at their photos in FB. Sure, we do look rather different now. More matured and alas, more wrinkles. Perhaps a little wider in the waistline. But I'd sure love to meet them again. It's not the same, meeting a golden friend for the first time in 20 years. InsyaAllah I hope I won't have to wait too long for that.


I've just received this information via e-mail from MACMA. Perhaps those who are free would be interested to join the programmes?
Sorry, I can't attend. I'll be out of the country beginning 17th Dec, insyaAllah.

AIS and Islam NGOs all over Selangor will be cooperating to conduct a Minggu Dakwah from 19-21 December 2008.
The tentatives of the program will be as following:
19 December 2008
1) Islamic NGO Exhibition Booth
Time: 10.00am – 6.00pm
Place : Exhibition Site Kompleks PKNS Shah Alam

2) Pelancaran Program Minggu Dakwah dan Kempen Menutup Aurat
Time: 3.30 pm – 5.30 pm
Place : Main stage Kompleks PKNS Shah Alam

3) Forum Perdana Hal Ehwal Islam
Time: 8.00-11.00pm
Place: Dataran Shah Alam

20 December 2008
1) Islamic NGO Exhibition Booth
Time: 10.00am – 6.00pm
Place : Exhibition Site Kompleks PKNS Shah Alam

2) Dakwah & ICT Seminar (Seminar Dakwah & ICT)
Time: 8.00 – 2.00pm
Place: Dewan Annex Shah Alam (in Bgnn SUK)

3) Bowling Competition between NGOs (Muslimin)
Time: 9.00am – 1.00pm
Place: Kompleks Ole-ole Seksyen 18 Shah Alam

4) Program Busana Muslimah
Time: 2.00-5.00pm
Place: Main stage Kompleks PKNS Shah Alam

5) Ceramah Perdana Santai Café
Time: 8.00-11.00pm
Place: Dataran Shah Alam

21 December 2008
1) Islamic NGO Exhibition Booth
Time: 10.00am – 6.00pm
Place : Exhibition Site Kompleks PKNS Shah Alam

2) Program Pelancaran Taskirah di Pasar Tani
Time: 8.30-9.30 am
Place: Tapak Pasar Tani Seksyen 13 Shah Alam

3) Program Senaman dan Tazkirah Bicara Ummah
Time: 7.00-9.30 am
Place: Dataran Shah Alam

4) Kempen Kesedaran Jalanraya & Alam Sekitar
Time: 10.00am – 12.00pm
Place: Toll plaza in Shah Alam

5) Bowling Competition between NGOs (Muslimat)
Time: 9.00am – 1.00pm
Place: Kompleks Ole-ole Seksyen 18 Shah Alam

6) Majlis Penutupan Program Sambutan Minggu Dakwah Selangor
Time: 3.00-5.00pm
Place: Main Stage Kompleks PKNS Shah Alam

All are most welcomed to join the program.
MACMA Selangor will be opening a booth for free medical check up.

Friday, December 12


"Er, what do you call this fish?" I looked at the dish on the table.
"Terubuk," replied Husband.
"You haven't eaten it before?"
"Well, actually I've never eaten it."
In my Chinese family, when it comes to food, we eat the best we can afford. Mother and Grandma bought only selected fish for the table. Never mind if we don't have any new clothes or new curtains, for food is the number one importance in my Chinese family. Therefore some fish that are cooked by the Malays are alien to me. I don't know their names or how they are supposed to be cooked. And I always scratch my head when they're bought for the home.
Mother used to say that unlike Chinese, Malays spend more on looking good than on eating well. "They can get on with just plain rice and dried fish."
I don't know how true it is nowadays.

"How do you want me to cut these vegetables?"
" Just cut them."
"Like this?"
I need to ask each time I help out at the kitchen. Chinese cook differently and prepare ingredients differently. I used more garlic and less shallots compared to Malays. I chop my garlic differently. My soups differ from the Malay's version, depending whether they're to cool the body or to add more heat. And my desserts or tong-sui are alien to a typical Malay.
Cooking is always an adventure. I won't know how my dishes will taste when I cook them because the ingredients used now are slightly different. I'm still getting used to the new taste of the soy sauce produced by Muslim factories. Really, they do taste different, so my dishes always end up tasting rather different than what they used to be during my non-halal days.
And Husband becomes my QC, heheheee... and he has been quite cautious testing my "alien dishes".

Cultural clashes happens all the time, worse when it involves other family members.
"You shouldn't sit at that table."
"He doesn't like being stared at when he eats."
"But I wasn't staring at him. I was watching the tv and talking to your sister. The sofa was too low and uncomfortable to sit. And I had my aurat properly covered too."
"Still it's better that you sit elsewhere."
"Ok, fine. If he felt uncomfortable, why didn't he tell me straight away? That would have solved the problem immediately. Need he keep quiet only to complain to you a week later?"
"That's not how it's done. It's a cultural thing."
"Fine, I'll remember that. Speaking of culture, do know that in Chinese families, we sit together at the table until everyone has finished their food. It's a form of respect that nobody leaves the table until everyone finishes eating. If the main table's full, children and teenagers, being lesser in status, eat elsewhere."

Then it was his turn to feel it.
"I wanted to salam with your mother but she just left the car."
"I've never salam with your Chinese mom-in-law. She'd freak out if I were to kiss her hand the way I do to your parents."
"Well, I thought I'd give it a try but she didn't give me the chance."
"So what did you do then?"
"I just waved at her and said goodbye laa... western style."
And it was my turn to laugh...hahahaa


"Tengok rumah ker?" wanita hitam manis dan bertudung itu menegur kami.
"Ya, tengok-tengok dulu," saya tersenyum sambil bersalaman dengannya.
"Rumah ini tuannya orang Cina tetapi disewa kepada orang Melayu. Hairan juga tiba-tiba orang Cina yang dapat membeli rumah ini. Ini kawasan orang Melayu."
Saya mengangguk saja. Dia peramah dan mudah diajak bersembang.
Belum sampai 10 minit, saya sudah tahu serba sedikit tentang penghuni lama rumah itu dan keadaan jiran tetangga di situ.
"Kawasan ini semua Melayu yang tinggal kecuali sebuah tu. Itu satu-satunya rumah orang Cina yang tinggal tetapi dia sudah lama hidup dengan orang Melayu, jadi tak ada masalah. Dia pun keluar membantu semasa bergotong-royong."
"Oh, begitu."
"Jiran-jiran di sini semua baik-baik, boleh diharap."
"Boleh tahu siapa nama kak? Saya Aliya."
"Panggil saja saya Kak Nah (bukan nama sebenar)."
Saya tersenyum sambil mengenit mata pada Abang. Entah apa yang bakal difikirkan Kak Nah sekiranya wanita Cina ini yang tinggal di rumah itu.

Hendakkan jiran berbangsa Melayu?
Ahh, apakah yang Kak Nah hendak sebenarnya?
Jiran berbangsa Melayu atau jiran beragama Islam?
Jiran Melayu tetapi mengabaikan ajaran Islam atau jiran bukan Melayu tetapi mengamalkan ajaran Islam?

Kami tidak memberitahu Kak Nah bahawa wanita yang menutup aurat di hadapannya itu bukan berbangsa Melayu.
Abang pula cuba memberi mesej kepadanya. Abang sengaja menunjukkan saya sekeping poster berbahasa Cina dan meminta saya baca. Saya menjawab dalam bahasa Mandarin.
Terbeliak mata Kak Nah.
Ahhh, kalau ditakdirkan bertemu semula, barulah saya terangkan kepada Kak Nah siapa saya sebenarnya :)

Wednesday, December 10


Alhamdulillah I'm back at home. After spending 20 days at my in-laws', we moved back to our little nest yesterday. I' m feeling better now. The exterior wound is almost healed although I can't say for sure for the internal wound where the doctors had taken out the fibroids. There's still a slight pain once in a while to remind me that I'm still on medical leave. In fact, I can do almost everything I had done pre-surgery except drive. I'm trying to psyche myself for the first drive post-surgery, for the bumps on the roads might not be comfortable with me on the driver's seat.

And today I'm supposed to start packing again , hahahaa.. but not to the hospital, nazu'billah.

As said earlier, Husband and I are planning a trip to the land of our ancestors. And alhamdulillah, with about 2 weeks to go, we've managed to book our places with a good Muslim tour agency. The reception and treatment they've given us via phone calls and emails have been satisfactory (they're in KL, we're in Penang). InsyaAllah, if everything goes well, Husband and I will be leaving for 'the land of the dragon' next week, when my medical leave is over.

I know some would say I'm crazy to go on tour to a far away land at such a short time after my open surgery. However, I'm feeling fine and we've planned this trip months before. As we're not sure what plans Allah swt has for us next year, we're taking this chance to go and have a great time, insyaAllah. As the trip has been paid up, by hook or by crook, we'd go. Even my mother, who has been there, has given her approval although she was initially worried about my health and recovery rate. Mom knows there's no stopping me when I've made up my mind, hehehe.

It's winter there, so I'd be looking for some warm clothing soon before the trip. We've chosen a rather relaxing 6 days' trip to the capital of China, so we'd have some time to rest every day. I'm looking forward to see the Forbidden City and the Muslim mosques, while Husband can't wait to walk on the Great Wall. It'd be more of a learning tour than shopping for goods. I hope the travel agency treats this nyonya well, for I intend to write about the trip in this blog when I return :)

Gosh, I've just returned home and there're bags to unpack and repack.
It'd be an interesting week ahead, that's for sure.
I've another big important project up my sleeve, and I'm praying hard that Allah swt will allow the transaction to happen smoothly. If everything goes well, insyaAllah I'd be repacking more things soon, hehehe.
Hmm, now what shall I pack for the trip?


Monday, December 8


Alhamdulillah, finally I get to perform solat Hari Raya Aidil Adha for the first time in the mosque, in my 3rd year of celebrating it. I faced various problems during the past 2 Aidil Adha which forced me to stay away from the mosque during this festive season.
Being able to perform solat raya berjemaah was a good feeling. I feel truly blessed. Finally Allah swt answer my pleas. And as I can actually perform my prayers again in normal ways, I didn't face any problem doing so with the other jemaah this morning. It was good to hear the khutbah raya too.

It's the first time I'm celebrating Aidil Adha at my in-laws. There're ketupat, rendang, tose (mom-in-law's specialty) and chicken curry. I decided to have only a small ketupat pulut (yummy), as I'm told that the glutonious rice used for this Malay delicacy is not good for post-surgery patients, huhuhu. Poor me! Tried as I did, I still fail to weave a ketupat palas properly, so I ended up opening the daun palas leaves for others to weave. Better luck next time :P.

I wish all readers a blessed Aidil Adha. Maaf zahir batin.

(note: Alhamdulillah I managed to perform my sunat raya prayers at the mosque today. Was told not to expect my menses for 6-8 weeks but it decided to show up after zohor, 3 weeks post surgery. Guess my fertility rate is still at a normal level :P)

Sunday, December 7


Alhamdulillah, akhirnya setelah lebih 2 minggu bersolat duduk, saya dapat menikmati semula cara mendirikan solat seperti biasa. Sudah lama benar saya hanya mampu bersolat dengan duduk di kerusi. Berkali-kali saya cuba solat seperti biasa tetapi semasa hendak sujud, sakit di tempat luka menyebabkan saya terpaksa membatalkan hasrat. Risau luka semakin melarat pula.

Apabila pulang malam tadi, saya cuba sekali lagi dengan berhati-hati. Risau sakit di tempat luka seperti yang dirasai beberapa hari yang lalu. Syukur, saya mampu sujud dengan selesa walaupun masih perlu berhati-hati. Pergerakan dalam solat cukup berhati-hati. Sekurang-kurangnya saya tidak akan dituduh melakukan solat ekspres atau solat ala kadar, hehehe.

Seronok saya mendirikan solat maghrib dan solat isyak hari ini. Terasa puas sungguh bersolat dengan rukuk dan sujud seperti biasa. Betapa bahagianya hati ini. Syukur alhamdulillah Allah izinkan saya untuk mendirikan solat seperti biasa menjelang Aidil Adha.

Saya ucapkan Selamat Aidil Adha kepada semua rakan-rakan dan pembaca blog ini. Sama-samalah kita menghayati erti korban dari kisah nabi Ibrahim dan nabi Ismail. Semoga Allah swt ampuni dosa kita, terima ibadah kita dan berkati kita semua, ameen.


Saturday, December 6


"Jom puasa Hari Arafah esok."
Aliya tidak tahu tentang puasa Hari Arafah sebelum memeluk Islam. Yang saya tahu hanya wajib berpuasa pada bulan Ramadhan. Namun alhamdulillah berkat nasihat dan ajakan rakan-rakan dalam dunia siber, saya belajar berpuasa sunat.

Hari ini memang berniat untuk menghadiri Wacana Ilmu di Masjid Jamek Seberang Jaya. Niat nampaknya tinggal niat sahaja, huhuhu. Saya masih belum sihat sepenuhnya untuk memandu sendirian selama 40 minit ke situ. Suami pula kurang sihat. Berehat sahajalah di rumah mertua ni.

Perancangan teliti perlu dibuat untuk berpuasa sunat esok. Kalau di rumah sendiri senang, kerana saya boleh menyediakan makanan mengikut selera. Saya tahu saya masih belum sihat sepenuhnya tetapi insyaAllah saya yakin dapat berpuasa sehingga waktu berbuka. Lama tidak berpuasa sunat.

Mari kita berpuasa sunat Hari Arafah esok... banyak pahalanya.

Puasa hari Arafah (9 Dzulhijjah) disunatkan kepada orang yang tidak melakukan ibadah haji. Fadhilatnya sangat besar sebagaimana dijelaskan menerusi hadith daripada Abi Qatadah r.a. ujurnya, Rasullullah s.a.w. telah ditanya oleh sahabat mengenai puasa hari 'Arafah, sabdanya bermaksud: "Ia menghapuskan dosa setahun yang lalu dan tahun-tahun kemudiannya." (Riwayatkan oleh Muslim dan al-Turmuzi)

Menerusi hadith daripada Abi Qatadah r.a. juga bahawa Rasullullah s.a.w. bersabda yang bermaksud: "Puasa pada hari 'Arafah itu menghapuskan dosa dua tahun yang lalu dan tahun yang akan datang." (Diriwayat oleh Muslim)

Nota: Malam ini ketika saya berbincang dengan mertua tentang niat untuk berpuasa hari Arafah, ada ipar yang menyatakan bahawa ada ustaz yang memberitahu perlu berpuasa sehari sebelum hari Arafah juga. Saya terkejut kerana belum pernah mendengar hujah tersebut. Alhamdulillah setelah menyemak segala maklumat yang ada, rupa-rupanya berpuasa sehari sebelum hari Arafah hanya sunat, sebagai langkah berhati-hati yang mana kemungkinan hari ke 8 Zulhijjah merupakan hari ke 9 Zulhijjah.

Saya juga diberitahu tentang perlunya berpuasa juga sehari sebelum hari Arafah jika 9 Zulhijjah itu jatuh pada hari Sabtu. Perkara ini kerana Rasulullah melarang berpuasa sehari tunggal pada hari Sabtu.

Friday, December 5


Aku selalu berbicara denganNya. Dialah pendengar paling setia, yang tidak pernah menutup pintu komunikasi denganku. Dialah yang Maha Melihat dan Maha Mendengar secara yang kulakukan, dan Maha Mengetahui segala yang kufikirkan dan simpan dalam lubuk hatiku.

Dia tidak pernah menjawab secara langsung tetapi kutahu Dia tetap menjawab. Ku terima peringatanNya melalui penulisan orang lain, melalui nasihat orang lain. Kurasai kasihNya dalam ketenangan jiwa yang diberikanNya kepadaku selepas setiap kali berbicara. Kuterima segala ketentuanNya dengan redha. Aku usaha.

Ujian Allah bukan sedikit. Lepas satu satu. Ketika sesatu ujian, aku ditanya pula oleh hamba lain yang mahu tahu persoalan apa, bagaimana dan mengapa perkara tersebut berlaku padaku. Manalah kutahu kerana itu sudah dikira takdir. Kadang-kadang aku menjadi malas hendak melayan mereka. Cukuplah sudah aku dengan keadaan-keadaan yang menguji kesabaran dan ketaqwaanku; tak ingin sungguh kulayan mereka yang cuba mencungkil lagi. Bila tak dilayan, ku terpaksa pula bersabar dengan tuduhan lain. Dalam keadaan kesihatan yang kurang baik, lagi banyak cabaran yang perlu dilalui.

Dahulu aku tak jadi memeluk Islam kerana teramat kecewa dengan sikap dan layanan orang Islam di sekelilingku. Kini aku masih sedikit kecewa dengan sikap orang Islam lain di sekelilingku. Bukan aku menyalahkan mereka. Kutahu tahap pemahaman Islam mereka tidak sama. Cuma aku masih terkilan dengan segolongan daripada mereka. Ada yang bukan tidak tahu tetapi tidak mahu. Ku hanya mampu berdoa agar mereka mendapat petunjuk dan hidayah dariNya. Ku perlu salurkan tenaga dan masaku untuk perkara yang lebih penting daripada terus-menerus mengetuk pintu-pintu hati yang enggan dibuka. Cukuplah sudah. Biarlah orang lain pula yang usaha. Ku tak berdaya.

Ku sedar juga diriku bukanlah manusia yang sempurna. Masih lemah dari pelbagai sudut. Aku tahu benar siapa diriku; apa kekuatan dan apa kelemahanku. Kubendung sifat-sifat buruk daripada terus bertapak dalam hatiku, dengan bantuanNya. Alhamdulillah, dalam 2 tahun ini, aku cuba perbaiki diriku mendekati ajaran Islam yang benar. Ku yakin, ajaran Islam jua yang dapat mengubah manusia menjadi baik. Ku juga impikan cara hidup Islam seperti zaman Rasulullah saw, yang benar-benar Islam tanpa perlu terikat dengan pandangan sempit masyarakat, adat yang membazir, dan budaya yang bercanggah dengan Islam.
Ada yang kata aku patut bersyukur; memang ku bersyukur dengan segala yang diberikanNya. Bagaimana mereka nak diukur sebanyak mana aku bersyukur?
Ada yang kata aku patut muhasabah diri; mana mereka tahu, bagaimana mereka hendak ukur sebanyak mana aku muhasabah diri?
Ada yang kata aku patut diamkan diri sahaja, sebab aku saudara baru, orang baru. Tetapi mengikut pemahamanku, semua umat Islam perlu tegur-menegur untuk mengelak kemungkaran? Tiada bezanya di antara kau dan aku di sisi Allah kecuali dari segi ketaqwaan padaNya?
Ada yang kata aku tidak boleh mengadu. Maaf,aku hanya ingin menyatakan pendapat, supaya manusia sendiri boleh mengubah keadaan menjadi lebih baik. Belajarlah juga menerima aduan dengan hati yang lapang. Sekiranya aku mengadu terus padaNya, kemungkinan balasanNya dan pengadilanNya lebih dahsyat lagi. Wallahu'alam.

Ku bersabar dengan segala yang berlaku. Namun, bagiku bersabar bukan hanya menerima bulat-bulat keadaan tanpa bertindak proaktif. Prinsipku (yang berlainan dengan ramai) adalah bersabar sambil berusaha, di samping berdoa.Ku tahu semua mengikut kehendakNya. Manusia merancang tetapi Allah juga yang menentukan keputusannya. Kita semua hanya hamba Allah. Hamba Allah yang menerima dengan redha segalanya selepas berusaha bersungguh-sungguh. Redha. Redha dengan keadaan. Redha dengan keputusanNya. Aku mahu menjadi hambaNya yang redha.

Aku hanya mampu memohon padaNya agar mengampunkan segala dosa-dosaku dan dosa-dosa mereka. Aku ingin ikhlas beribadah kepadaNya. Aku ingin hidup sebagai Muslimah yang baik, isteri yang solehah, dan anak yang baik, mengikut acuan al-Quran dan al-hadith, insyaAllah.

Thursday, December 4


I've been searching for an English translation of this beautiful song (among my favourite nasyid songs). Alhamdulillah found it. Enjoy :)

Wahai Tuhan ku tak layak ke syurga Mu
Namun tak pula aku sanggup ke neraka Mu

Ampunkan dosa ku terimalah taubat ku
Sesungguhnya Engkaulah Pengampun dosa-dosa besar

(arabic verse) edited 29/5/09:
Ilahi lastu lil firdausi ahlaa
Wa laa aqwa 'alaa naaril jahiimi
Fahabli taubataw waghfir dzunuubi
Fa innaka ghofirudz dzam bil 'adhiimi

Dosa-dosaku bagaikan pepasir di pantai
Dengan rahmat Mu ampunkan daku Oh Tuhan ku

Wahai Tuhan selamatkan kami ini
Dari segala kejahatan dan kecelakaan

Kami takut kami harap kepada Mu
Suburkanlah cinta kami kepada Mu

Akulah hamba yang mengharap belas dari Mu


Tears of a woman can mean many things.
Men are often baffled by the tears.
I suppose a woman's tears make a man feel helpless.
They cannot control the situation or handle the woman.
Logic doesn't make sense when a woman cries.
Real men don't cry, or do they?

He: There you go again, crying. Why can't you talk normally instead of crying?
She: I can't help it! They just flow.. and I'm talking to you still.
He: But surely you can turn off the tap..and be rasionale. Why are you crying?
She: If I can I will but I can't. This is the only way I release stress.. and I'm in great stress!
He: God! How long are you going to be like this? You're behaving like a child.
She: Stop nagging! If you can't comfort me with your words, at least don't nag me. And I'm not behaving like a child, I'm in great pain. My head hurts, my heart hurts, I'm hurting and the last thing I want to hear is you nagging...and telling me I behave like a child. If I can stop the tears from flowing, do you think I won't? Do you think I like to have puffy eyes and a red nose as the result of crying buckets of tears? Oh please! (sob sob)
He: All right.. all right. But can you tell me what's the problem without you crying away?
She: Give me the tissue.. (sniff sniff)
He: So can we talk now?
She: I've been talking to you for the past ten minutes.. didn't you listen?

She 1: What's wrong?
She 2: I don't know.. (sob sob)
She 1: Here.. have a tissue.
She 2: Thanks (sob sob)
She 1: What happened? Did anyone hurt you? Are you in pain?
She 2: Oh, life is so unfair! (sob sob)
She 1: Now, now.. I'm here. I'm all ears. Tell me.. what happened?
She 2: But it's a long story..(wail) I don't what to do!
She 1: Relax.. what happened to you today? Surely something must had happened to make you cry like this.
She 2: Well, you sure you want to hear this? (hesitant)
She 1: It's your choice. If you feel better after telling me, then why not? I promise I'll keep this secret.
She 2: Well, you see.. ( sniff sniff)

Tuesday, December 2


Wacana Islam & Undang-undang: Islam di Kandang Salah
Anjuran Persatuan Ulama' Malaysia cawangan Pulau Pinang (PUMPP)
Dewan Seminar 1, Masjid Jamek Seberang Jaya, Perai, Pulau Pinang
6 Disember 2008

Tiada yuran dikenakan ...
8.30 pagi: Pendaftaran
9.00 pagi: Ucapan aluan & perasmian pembukaan – Prof Madya Dr. Fadlullah Jamel (NYDP PUMPP)
9.30 pagi: Sesi 1:
1) Abd Halim Bahari (Peguam Syar'ie) – Undang-undang Menyokong Kesesatan? & kes Rasul Melayu Kahar Ahmad dan Ayah Pin (1 jam)
2) Azril Mohd Amin (NYDP ABIM) –Pluralisme Agama & kes penggunaan nama Allah oleh akhbar Kristian (1 jam)
3) Ustaz Hafiz Nordin (BADAI) – Hak Berkumpul dan Bersuara & kes demonstrasi Artikel 11 (1 jam)
12.30 pagi: Soal jawab sesi 1
1.00 ptg: Rehat & Makan tengahari
2.30 ptg: Sesi 2:
1) Prof Madya Dr. Wan Salim bin Wan Mohd Nor (YDP PUMPP) – Konflik Syari'ah dan Perundangan (1 jam)
2) Hj Mahamad Naser Disa (Syeksen Syari'ah, Jabatan Peguam Negara) – Sorotan Kes-kes Terkini Berkaitan Dengan Syari'ah dan Pentadbiran Islam (1 jam)
4.30 ptg: Soal jawab sesi 2
5.30 ptg: Bersurai


Ya Allah
Bersihkan hatiku
Daripada sifat mazmumah.
Tanamkan sifat mahmudah pada diriku.
Ampunilah dosa-dosaku
Aku hambamu
Yang lemah lagi kerdil
Yang mengharapkan bimbinganMu
Dan kasih sayangMu.

Ya Allah
Jauhilah aku
Daripada mereka yang berniat buruk terhadapku.
Lindungi aku
Daripada terikut-ikut dengan sikap buruk mereka terhadapku.
Aku ingin menjadi Mukminah yang sejati
yang berani, yang berbakti.

Berilah aku taufik dan hidayah
bantulah aku memaafkan mereka
yang bertindak di luar jangkaan,
yang mementingkan diri,
yang bersikap dengki,
yang belum terbuka hati
menerima ketentuan illahi.

Kau Yang Maha Berkuasa ke atas kami
Kau Yang Maha Mengetahui isi hati kami
KepadaMu jua kami kembali
Bantulah hambamu ini,
Tabahkanlah hati ini,
Bantulah diri ini untuk bersabar
Dengan karenah mereka
Yang zahirnya sudah beriman
Yang zahirnya sudah bertaqwa
Yang zahirnya sudah berkhatam Quran
Namun batinnya hanya Kau yang tahu
Hanya Kau yang mampu mengubah
pendirian mereka.

Ku bersyukur dengan apa yang ada
Ku turut panjangkan doa
Bagi mereka yang menjadi mangsa
Pandangan sempit masyarakat
Pegangan yang taksub adat
Pendirian yang bakal memakan diri sendiri.

Ku idamkan syurga jannah
Keredhaan suami
Keredhaan Allah
Kasih sayang suci sesama manusia
Dari seorang hamba Allah kepada saudaranya

Ya Allah
Ampunilah mereka
Bimbinglah mereka
Yang masih jahil
Yang masih tidak mahu berubah
Yang masih tunduk melayan emosi
Yang masih mengamalkan semangat assabiyah.